WE ALL

 “Elliot”, sixty-one, was diagnosed with brain cancer four months ago.  He has been receiving chemotherapy for treatment.  His doctor recommended that he continue with that treatment for now.  Elliot is married to his wife, “Nicki”.  They have one son who lives nearby and is very supportive and involved like his mother. 

Nicki’s total focus is on what is best for Elliot.  Elliot has been in a slow decline these past few weeks where he is becoming a bit forgetful.  Nicki works leaving Elliot home alone during the day.  He is safe alone at this time, but it won’t be long when he will be needing additional help. 

Elliot is realistic regarding his diagnosis, decline and poor prognosis.  He spoke about many regrets he has had over his life.  He spoke frequently about, “What I should have done.”   Elliot asked about, “What is the right thing to feel or to do right now?”  I shared with Elliot that unfortunately there are not any rules or steps to follow. 

Elliot was very deep thinking and spoke so eloquently about his thoughts.  I shared with him something I heard a while ago.  It was spoken like it was a joke, but I think it is pretty profound and true.  I told him to,” Be yourself as everyone else is taken.”  I added that if he truly became himself, he would shine. 

I spent the visit time honestly validating his emotions and feelings, giving him permission to be whomever he needed to be.  By Elliot’s parting words of such appreciation, I knew he understood what I was counseling him all about. 

I know he will be fine.  He, looking so intently and deeply into his emotions, can truly give him answers to all those questions he has inside himself.  Good luck Elliot!

WE ALL

 We all have said and done things

we now; likely most of us; strongly regret.

We are the hardest on ourselves.

We don’t forgive or ever forget

what we did or said that was so wrong.

 

He’s been clean for many years;

but has had a long history of drug abuse.

With remorse saying, “It always had to be my way”.

She lovingly then replied, “Not any longer.”

 

He was diagnosed with brain cancer recently.

He’s going through the recommended treatment;

but deep inside knows and has softly said,

“You know I am going to die from this.”

 

He spoke of many life regrets and transgressions;

while asking us, “How am I supposed to feel?”

I then answered, “There is no right or wrong way to feel.

Your heart will guide your emotions

               to where you need to go for you.”

 

“We all have to experience down to appreciate up.

We have to go left to become familiar with right.

We also have to encounter hate; to truly embrace love.

Your moments of regret were your biggest teacher.

               Embrace, learn, grow.”

 

We are logical beings wanting logical answers.

There are no words that can explain life or describe death.

He is now learning from his past mistakes.

Hopefully he can come to terms to forgive himself.

Wisely, with any luck,

               we all can successfully achieve as well.