TWO MOMS

I did back-to-back admissions today.  It was surprising how similar both of these patients were to each other.  Both were struggling with their illness for over ten years.  Both were discharged today from the hospital.  Each were told by their physician that there is no further treatment.

Each child moved into their mother’s home as know they need the additional help.  “Irene” is only fifty-two.  Her lung cancer has spread to multiple organs.  Her biggest complaint is weakness.  She walks very slowly using her walker. She has had two recent falls due to her weakness.  Irene and her family are from Russia.  Irene and her son, “Tim” are both bilingual.  Irene’s mother speaks only Russian.  Her mother sat with us while I explained the hospice program.  Tim was translating, but she didn’t say much.  One could see the obvious grief in her face.  I gave her a hug right before I left.  She just melted into my arms.  This is a mother’s worse nightmare.

“Ken” is forty-three.  He suffers from liver disease and has been sick for years as well.  He had been managing okay until four days ago when he collapsed at home.  He was taken to the hospital where he was also told that there is nothing more to be done.  He had two dialysis treatments and then said, “No more”.

Ken told his mom and family that he was done and wanted to go home to die in peace.  Ken spoke his truth which helped his family know what he deeply wanted to do.  Ken is at peace about his decision.

Ken’s mom is trying to be strong, but really doesn’t know what to do.  She has tremendous support from her sons and from many friends.

I wanted to say the right words to both of these moms, but there are none.  I gave each mother a hug as I had no words.  I so strongly feel that no parent should ever have to attend a child’s funeral.  I wish both moms strength, prayers and support.

TWO MOMS

 

Two moms losing a child.

One, her daughter, only fifty-two.

The other; her son being a bit younger;

         He being forty-three.

 

Both have been ill for many years.

Each with treatment slowing their decline.

But now suddenly, no more to be done.

Both discharged home with hospice coming in.

 

Her mom doesn’t speak English,

but the grief so authentic in her sorrowful face.

His mom is trying to remain strong,

but the reality of it all is so overwhelming.

 

Her daughter feels cheated by her cancer.

“I had so many more things I wanted to do.

Now I am emotionally tired.

         This is so unfair!”

 

Her son told his family,

“No more dialysis; no more treatment.

I am ready for this all to be over.

         I just want to go home.”

 

Both moved into their mother’s home

knowing they need the extra support.

Their families are rallying around them,

struggling with saying goodbye.

 

There is nothing magical to be said

as losing a child is so out of order.

A parent never wants to let go.

These two moms surely feel

         that same tremendous pain.

 

There are no words; no miracles.

Hugs and prayers are all that we can give

         to the two maternal,

                  grieving moms.