BOTH MOMS

The same hospice nurse and I admitted two females to hospice today. The similarities between them was amazing. Both had the same diagnosis and the same primary physician. They lived in the same town about one mile apart. Both had sons caring for them as well as a child estranged from them.

One common theme between both sons, when talking about life growing up with Mom, was anger. Even though both women suffered from Alzheimer's Disease, they both struggled with being dependent. They have always fought to be in charge of their life and their family; quite often not in a healthy way.

I was in awe at how both sons were devoted to their mother regarding her safety and care, but respect and love for their mother was much harder to achieve. The anger that the sons grew up with taught them what not to be. Both are loving husbands and fathers. We laughed easily in both homes while the sons shared life stories. Their humor helped them cope.

The best thing both sons stated about hospice support was having the option to call 24 hours a day to a phone line that a secretary or nurse will answer. I wish the sons and the moms the best.


BOTH MOMS

We admitted both of them
onto our hospice program today.
It was amazing how they both
were so much of the same.

Both were female living just a mile apart.
Each had the same physician treating them
for end stage Alzheimer's Disease.
Both Moms just wanting to be left alone.

One was born in 1932; the other 1923.
Each aggressive in their demands.
Their sons strongly say the same thing;
"My Mom has been angry my entire life!"

Their sons are so devoted by their mother's side
making sure she is safe and all her needs are met.
Both Moms want to be the one in charge.
Anger is the last emotion where they feel some control.

It is a struggle for both sons
to get hired attendant care in the home.
Mom is not aware, but she needs constant care;
while their sons yearn for much needed respite.

One son draws strength from prayer and his faith,
while the other loves to play golf.
They will take care of their mom
while taking care of themselves as well.

They both know that Mom likely will never change.
They will continue to help as needs arise
while taking good care of themselves.
That is the one powerful similarity between
          Both Sons.