ROUTINE

Yesterday, the hospice nurse and I admitted, “Betty”, to our hospice program. We met Betty and her two daughters, “Jeannine” and “Beverly” in the dining room of Betty’s home. Betty had been living alone until the past several months when her daughters moved in with her to share caring for her.

Jeannine shared that her mother is confused most of the time. Betty wasn’t quite sure why we were there. Betty’s husband died eight years ago. Sadly, in addition, her son passed away five years ago. Unfortunately, Betty became tearful when speaking about her husband and son. Her grief was strong, as due to her confusion, she thought both died only a few months ago.

The daughters shared that mom had moments of anger about her grief. Additionally, she also had strong frustrations over her limitations. During our visit, Betty had some moments of clarity. During one of those moments, she apologized to her daughters for being angry. Betty shared how she felt it was wrong.

Similarly, we admitted, “Joe”, a few days prior. Joe was only in his fifties and had liver cancer. Due to retention of fluids, it so limited him in his mobility to maneuver around his home. Joe was determined to remain as independent as able, and did move around, although slowly.

Joe, too had tremendous challenges, but his primary focus was on his wife and how she would be after he was gone. We told him about hospice’s bereavement follow up for thirteen months afterwards. Joe felt comfort in knowing that.

Both of these cases demonstrated what we, as hospice workers, see so frequently. Respect and admiration flows from our hearts when witnessing such devotion. It is so humbling and such an honor to observe such love.


ROUTINE　

Meeting so many people,
one would think we'd see routine.
Normal emotions, common reactions;
typical behaviors while coping.

I am continually awestruck
on the love we see around.
Looking out for their loved ones,
even though their struggle is intense.

He was diagnosed several years ago,
but his decline has been swift.
He struggles to walk around,
but is determined to keep moving.

His primary focus is about his wife.
He worries about her after he is gone.
He has no fears or concerns about himself.
It is naturally all about her.

I would understand if he were angry.
I would also understand if he were afraid,
but my emotions are of admiration and respect.
He is demonstrating pure, unconditional love.

His actions are what we typically experience.
While he is concerned and caring for her,
she is just as much worried about him.
The more one gives, the more one receives.

I am so honored to witness such love.
It is what keeps me coming back every day.
Maybe it is routine,
          after all.