HER WAY

Peggie, my friend of eleven years, died peacefully this morning. She was diagnosed ten years ago of cervical cancer. She fought hard and long throughout each step of the way. Peggie never complained. She always had such a positive attitude. She would always ask about how others were doing. The focus was never on how hard things were for her.

Peggie's husband, Ellis, was totally devoted to her. It was a beautiful relationship, full of love and playful teasing. Peggie was hospitalized two weeks ago. My husband and I went over to visit her in the hospital. I was shocked when I stepped into her room and saw her. She was so weak and appeared to be in such pain. Her voice was so soft and low, I had trouble hearing what she was saying. It just broke my heart.

Seeing Peggie in so much distress, left my heart so heavy. The vision of her suffering implanted so solidly in my thoughts. I wanted to fix it and make her pain go away. Throughout her hospitalization, and subsequent transfer to a nursing home three days ago, my husband and I kept in close contact with Ellis, wanting to support him as well.

My husband and I saw Peggie last night at the nursing home. She was in a deep sleep and looked so relaxed, pain free and beautiful. The moment I saw her so restful, I felt instant peace myself. I strongly felt she was ready to let go. Her oncologist told me a week ago that Peggie was at peace about it all. After hearing from Ellis that Peggie died this morning, it did leave me sad, but also happy for her as she was in a better place now and flying high.

Peggie and Ellis reside in a mobile home park near the hospice where I work. One of our hospice nurses admitted a patient today. She came back to the office and asked if anyone had time to deliver some supplies to the family. I volunteered and noticed that they lived in the same mobile home park of Peggie and Ellis. I drove by Ellis's place, but his car was not in the parking unit telling me that he wasn't home, or I would have made a visit.

Thirty minutes later, I was back in the office and helping a supervisor with a project. She asked me to grab three patient charts. One of the charts was, again, in Peggie and Ellis's mobile home park.

I truly believe Peggie was making sure that I knew how important it will be for my husband and I to make sure Ellis is okay. Again she is caring about others. It wouldn't surprise me that Peggie made sure I saw her at peace in the nursing home the day before she died. Her gift to me was also peace. That is who Peggie was. She, continuing to do things her way forevermore.


HER WAY　

She was diagnosed ten years ago.
She fought her disease long and hard.
Chemo; illness; then more chemo.
She was a fighter; she never gave up.

Her end came swiftly.
It caught us all off guard.
Seeing her so weak; suffering in pain.
Heaviness; sadness engulfing my heart.

Transferred to a nursing home.
Comfort care treatment was all that was left.
Seeing her so peaceful; so beautiful.
Calmness and relief now embracing my soul.

She let go early this morning.
I know it was her time to go.
She spoke to me two times this afternoon.
Guiding me to keep supporting him.

She was tough; she was so strong.
Always, while diligently caring for others.
Even after she is gone;
         she still is doing things;
                   Her Way.