We admitted, “Lonnie”, to our hospice program today. Lonnie was diagnosed with Liver Cancer three years ago. Lonnie went through multiple treatments, but now his doctor said there is no more.
Lonnie lives with his son, “Ryan”. Ryan is on leave from his work and is available to help his dad full time. Ryan is so focused on caring for his dad and is doing a beautiful job. Lonnie cannot say enough how appreciative he is of Ryan. The two have a fantastic relationship.
The moment we walked in, Lonnie started to talk. He needed to tell us his story. Lonnie had a great sense of humor as was very witty. Lonnie would talk serious for a moment about his disease, and then would start to say something funny and laugh. He was so much fun to be around.
Near the end of our visit, I asked Lonnie how he is coping with it all. His answer was so amazing and beautiful. His answer is what draws me to do hospice work, as to me, it really isn’t work at all. Thank you Lonnie.
WHAT HELPS YOU?
I am amazed by our hospice patients.
I am in awe at how they cope.
Using tactics that have always worked for them.
They will all deal with this in their own natural way.
I often ask patients, "What helps you?"
"How do you manage to get through each day?"
Many answer, "Oh the normal way."
And then I am so surprised by what I do hear.
He's been struggling for over two years.
The cancer has now rapidly spread.
These past few weeks have been tough on him.
Weaker, short of breath, not walking at all.
He cannot thank his son enough
for all the help that he does give.
He hates being so dependent,
but then his humor helps him through.
The minute we walked in, he started to talk.
He needed to tell us his story.
Using humor, he spoke about his cancer,
while telling us tales about way back when.
"What is helping you get through each day?"
“What is helping you cope?”
He became somber as his thoughts turned within.
He answered in only one word.
That word was spoken softly,
as was from deep in his heart.
He turned to both of us and gently said,
“You”.
Saturday, July 29, 2017
Saturday, July 22, 2017
THEIR LAST GOODBYE
We admitted two patients to hospice today. Both were females in their eighties. Both were residing in a Residential Care Facility. One mom had been in her facility for over three years as suffered from dementia and needed a lot of help. Recently, though, she has been in a decline to where she is weaker, more confused and not eating, although the staff are supplementing her diet with an Ensure.
Her daughter, “Sharon”, visits frequently and was realistic and honest about her mother’s status and her emotions regarding this recent change. Her mom doesn’t talk much, but appeared relaxed and comfortable. Sharon spoke how she is ready to let her mother go as their is no quality of life for her any longer.
The second patient we admitted to our program, also was in her eighties and living in a Residential Care Facility. The difference was that this second patient had been independent until she suffered two major strokes. She was recovering from the first stroke when another stroke occurred one week ago.
The family moved her into the Residential Care Facility one week ago after going through rehabilitation. It was then that the patient suffered another major stroke. She is now imminent and unresponsive. Likely she will die within a few days. Her children are all aware and are grieving so appropriately. The three children shared that it is each other and their sense of humor that help them cope with life’s challenges.
Both patients had such different backgrounds, but it goes to show, that in the end, love is what matters and saying goodbye may be the best gift of love after all.
THEIR LAST GOODBYE
Her mom is in her eighties.
She's been confused for years.
Lately, though, she is weaker.
Not eating much now, at all.
She is more wobbly on her feet
resulting in several recent falls.
Her daughter is grieving her mother
as there is no quality of life left at all.
Their mother's decline has been sudden.
She, late eighties too, had been living alone.
Now imminent and unresponsive.
Two major strokes ending it all.
Both families love their mothers,
but the mom they know is no longer around.
They told childhood stories; laughing while sharing.
Reminiscing about the past; good days long gone.
All are now ready for it to be over.
Their moms have suffered enough.
The kids don’t want their mother to leave,
but each are so ready to speak from their hearts
to lovingly say;
Their Last Goodbye.
Her daughter, “Sharon”, visits frequently and was realistic and honest about her mother’s status and her emotions regarding this recent change. Her mom doesn’t talk much, but appeared relaxed and comfortable. Sharon spoke how she is ready to let her mother go as their is no quality of life for her any longer.
The second patient we admitted to our program, also was in her eighties and living in a Residential Care Facility. The difference was that this second patient had been independent until she suffered two major strokes. She was recovering from the first stroke when another stroke occurred one week ago.
The family moved her into the Residential Care Facility one week ago after going through rehabilitation. It was then that the patient suffered another major stroke. She is now imminent and unresponsive. Likely she will die within a few days. Her children are all aware and are grieving so appropriately. The three children shared that it is each other and their sense of humor that help them cope with life’s challenges.
Both patients had such different backgrounds, but it goes to show, that in the end, love is what matters and saying goodbye may be the best gift of love after all.
THEIR LAST GOODBYE
Her mom is in her eighties.
She's been confused for years.
Lately, though, she is weaker.
Not eating much now, at all.
She is more wobbly on her feet
resulting in several recent falls.
Her daughter is grieving her mother
as there is no quality of life left at all.
Their mother's decline has been sudden.
She, late eighties too, had been living alone.
Now imminent and unresponsive.
Two major strokes ending it all.
Both families love their mothers,
but the mom they know is no longer around.
They told childhood stories; laughing while sharing.
Reminiscing about the past; good days long gone.
All are now ready for it to be over.
Their moms have suffered enough.
The kids don’t want their mother to leave,
but each are so ready to speak from their hearts
to lovingly say;
Their Last Goodbye.
Saturday, July 15, 2017
NO REGRETS
"Les", eighty, was diagnosed with stomach cancer several years ago. Les received many treatments of chemotherapy and radiation. Recently, his physician ordered several scans which revealed that Les's cancer is spreading. Les is slowly getting weaker, although still can manage all of his needs.
The hospice nurse and I went out to admit Les to our hospice program this morning. Les was so welcoming and immediately started to tell jokes, that he had us laughing moments after we walked through his front door. Les has such a positive attitude about life and so easily shared all his personal life stories.
Les does not worry about a thing. He knows that one day he may no longer be able to live alone. Les has been estranged from the majority of his family, although one cousin lives nearby. His cousin works full time and will not be able to help Les with his future daily needs. I spoke with Les about options for long term care. Les answered me with, "It is way too early to talk about those things."
Les lives in the moment and enjoys each moment he has. He doesn't worry about what tomorrow may bring him. Somehow I know from just meeting him today, that Les likely will be okay. He will embrace his life until the end, with no regrets.
NO REGRETS
He jokes and laughs so easily.
He sees life in such a positive way.
He loves to share his own life stories
with no regrets at all.
He divorced his wife thirty years ago.
He is estranged from all of his kids.
He started drinking vodka at age five.
Being matter of fact, he'll share all.
He'd like to live to one hundred twenty-five
knowing that is unrealistic for sure.
"When it is my time, I will go.
We all have to travel that road one time."
More than thirty years ago.
he had an out-of-body experience.
That encounter took away any fears
as they told him then, it wasn't his time.
He'll continue to drink his vodka.
He'll smoke his marijuana cigarettes to help him sleep.
He'll keep on telling jokes and laughing;
and he will continue to live his customary way
with no regrets at all.
The hospice nurse and I went out to admit Les to our hospice program this morning. Les was so welcoming and immediately started to tell jokes, that he had us laughing moments after we walked through his front door. Les has such a positive attitude about life and so easily shared all his personal life stories.
Les does not worry about a thing. He knows that one day he may no longer be able to live alone. Les has been estranged from the majority of his family, although one cousin lives nearby. His cousin works full time and will not be able to help Les with his future daily needs. I spoke with Les about options for long term care. Les answered me with, "It is way too early to talk about those things."
Les lives in the moment and enjoys each moment he has. He doesn't worry about what tomorrow may bring him. Somehow I know from just meeting him today, that Les likely will be okay. He will embrace his life until the end, with no regrets.
NO REGRETS
He jokes and laughs so easily.
He sees life in such a positive way.
He loves to share his own life stories
with no regrets at all.
He divorced his wife thirty years ago.
He is estranged from all of his kids.
He started drinking vodka at age five.
Being matter of fact, he'll share all.
He'd like to live to one hundred twenty-five
knowing that is unrealistic for sure.
"When it is my time, I will go.
We all have to travel that road one time."
More than thirty years ago.
he had an out-of-body experience.
That encounter took away any fears
as they told him then, it wasn't his time.
He'll continue to drink his vodka.
He'll smoke his marijuana cigarettes to help him sleep.
He'll keep on telling jokes and laughing;
and he will continue to live his customary way
with no regrets at all.
Saturday, July 8, 2017
HE'S NOT READY
As part of our hospice support, we meet with patients and their families to educate them about our hospice program and supports. Often, folks are not yet ready for hospice as have fears we hurry death along or we take charge over how things are managed.
We met up with “Sam”, who wanted to hear about our program because of his elderly mother who has been declining for such a long time. She is now totally dependent upon all of her needs. She is eating very little as is awake only a few hours each day.
Sam liked what we said about our program, but wanted to ask his mother what she thought about hospice support. He feared she would just give up on life as wasn’t ready to hear about hospice.
Several hours later, Sam gave me a call to schedule a hospice admission. He asked his mother what she thought about hospice being involved. He was so surprised and relieved by her response. I told him that he gave her the opportunity to talk about her true feelings. I believe that she was also likely relieved by his question.
In the end, I feel that most of us do best with the truth. It is typically a healthy practice as it allows us to process our own emotions and thoughts in a safe environment.
HE'S NOT READY
She's been bedridden for over two years.
She is weak and needs so much help.
She sleeps about twenty-two hours each day.
Her decline is slow, but continuing.
Her son wants to do what's right for her,
but doesn't know where to begin.
He wanted to know about hospice support,
but he's not ready to hear this may be her end.
We educated him about our hospice program.
He liked what we had said,
but he doesn't know how to tell her.
He fears she might give up.
He went out to talk with her.
He didn't know what to say,
but she awoke when he mentioned hospice.
"Would you like us to bring them in?"
He was amazed by what his mother said
as feared she would be upset.
Instead it was "Such a magical moment",
as felt instant relief by her response.
He didn’t believe she was prepared,
but she easily told him that she was,
by answering his question
in a few simple words.
“Yes.
I am ready.”
We met up with “Sam”, who wanted to hear about our program because of his elderly mother who has been declining for such a long time. She is now totally dependent upon all of her needs. She is eating very little as is awake only a few hours each day.
Sam liked what we said about our program, but wanted to ask his mother what she thought about hospice support. He feared she would just give up on life as wasn’t ready to hear about hospice.
Several hours later, Sam gave me a call to schedule a hospice admission. He asked his mother what she thought about hospice being involved. He was so surprised and relieved by her response. I told him that he gave her the opportunity to talk about her true feelings. I believe that she was also likely relieved by his question.
In the end, I feel that most of us do best with the truth. It is typically a healthy practice as it allows us to process our own emotions and thoughts in a safe environment.
HE'S NOT READY
She's been bedridden for over two years.
She is weak and needs so much help.
She sleeps about twenty-two hours each day.
Her decline is slow, but continuing.
Her son wants to do what's right for her,
but doesn't know where to begin.
He wanted to know about hospice support,
but he's not ready to hear this may be her end.
We educated him about our hospice program.
He liked what we had said,
but he doesn't know how to tell her.
He fears she might give up.
He went out to talk with her.
He didn't know what to say,
but she awoke when he mentioned hospice.
"Would you like us to bring them in?"
He was amazed by what his mother said
as feared she would be upset.
Instead it was "Such a magical moment",
as felt instant relief by her response.
He didn’t believe she was prepared,
but she easily told him that she was,
by answering his question
in a few simple words.
“Yes.
I am ready.”
Saturday, July 1, 2017
A SPECIAL GUY
"Matt", sixty-six, was admitted to hospice several weeks ago. Matt had colon cancer and was told there was nothing more to be done. Matt then moved in with his family in order to have someone to care for him as his needs increased. Due to the move, Matt connected with a new physician. His new physician informed Matt about new treatment options that were available.
Matt had a very low-key, calm personality. He thought about the treatment and was excited about giving it a try. Because he was pursuing curative treatment, we discharged Matt from hospice two weeks ago. It was then that I met Matt as I went out with the nurse to admit Matt to our Palliative Care Program.
Matt immediately impressed me with his huge heart and embracing personality. He had strong Eastern Spiritual beliefs and would remain calm no matter what came his way. Matt had a successful career and totally enjoyed his life. We sat with Matt in the backyard of his family's home. Matt was so full of life.
One week later, Matt ended up in the ICU due to the progression of his illness. It was then that his family chose to admit Matt to hospice for the second time. Yesterday I went out to meet with Matt and his family. I was shocked at how much he declined in such a short period of time. Matt was lying in bed and spoke only a few words. He easily fell back into a deep sleep. He was so weak, I knew he did not have much time.
I heard late this afternoon that Matt had died. My grief came on suddenly. I was happy for him that he is no longer suffering, but sad for his family and all those who knew him. It is such a huge loss for all. Matt has left an amazing legacy. I feel so blessed to have met him. Special times with such a special guy.
A SPECIAL GUY
There was something so special about him.
It wasn't just one particular thing.
How he embraced his life so fully.
Easily accepting whatever came his way.
He would think about all of his options.
Which one naturally would work the best.
Which would keep balance in his life.
Able to easily then, take another step.
He had a complete, full life,
but wasn't quite yet ready to let go.
His doctor wanted to try new treatments.
He, with hope, willing to give it a try.
One week later, admitted to the ICU.
Nothing more do be done.
Yesterday, home with hospice support.
Unresponsive, imminent, it was now his time.
He died peacefully late this afternoon.
I am happy for him as he suffers no more.
But I had chills, eyes full of tears.
I am grieving
such an amazing man.
Matt had a very low-key, calm personality. He thought about the treatment and was excited about giving it a try. Because he was pursuing curative treatment, we discharged Matt from hospice two weeks ago. It was then that I met Matt as I went out with the nurse to admit Matt to our Palliative Care Program.
Matt immediately impressed me with his huge heart and embracing personality. He had strong Eastern Spiritual beliefs and would remain calm no matter what came his way. Matt had a successful career and totally enjoyed his life. We sat with Matt in the backyard of his family's home. Matt was so full of life.
One week later, Matt ended up in the ICU due to the progression of his illness. It was then that his family chose to admit Matt to hospice for the second time. Yesterday I went out to meet with Matt and his family. I was shocked at how much he declined in such a short period of time. Matt was lying in bed and spoke only a few words. He easily fell back into a deep sleep. He was so weak, I knew he did not have much time.
I heard late this afternoon that Matt had died. My grief came on suddenly. I was happy for him that he is no longer suffering, but sad for his family and all those who knew him. It is such a huge loss for all. Matt has left an amazing legacy. I feel so blessed to have met him. Special times with such a special guy.
A SPECIAL GUY
There was something so special about him.
It wasn't just one particular thing.
How he embraced his life so fully.
Easily accepting whatever came his way.
He would think about all of his options.
Which one naturally would work the best.
Which would keep balance in his life.
Able to easily then, take another step.
He had a complete, full life,
but wasn't quite yet ready to let go.
His doctor wanted to try new treatments.
He, with hope, willing to give it a try.
One week later, admitted to the ICU.
Nothing more do be done.
Yesterday, home with hospice support.
Unresponsive, imminent, it was now his time.
He died peacefully late this afternoon.
I am happy for him as he suffers no more.
But I had chills, eyes full of tears.
I am grieving
such an amazing man.
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