We admitted , "Ted", a twenty-four year old diagnosed with cancer. Ted had been doing quite well until a recent onset of tremendous pain. Ted moved in with family who were able to care for him. His pain became quite severe to where he had many clinic visits to help reduce his pain.
We met Ted’s family in the kitchen of their home. Ted did not participate as he was in a deep sleep. At the end of our visit, the hospice nurse examined Ted and felt he was imminent. He had moments when he did not breathe. This symptom often can occur at the end of one’s life.
At the beginning of our visit, the family was talking about curative treatment and wanting to call 911 so that Ted would not die. We spoke of our palliative care program thinking that they were not ready for hospice. The nurse and I listened to them and validated their feelings. We also directed the family on looking at Ted's wishes and how he perceived quality of life.
By the end of our visit, the family was on the hospice page. They knew he was dying and they started to look at the peaceful side of things. Their strong Christian faith helped them cope with knowing that Ted was going to a better place. It was amazing to see their transition from unrealistic hopes of curative options, to coming to terms with the reality of things. They were giving Ted a lot of love, compassion and care. The best medicine for him.
THEY KNOW
He was diagnosed two years ago.
Until recently, he was doing well.
His decline has now been swift.
Weakness, pain, no appetite.
They wanted him on hospice.
They knew that we could help.
They needed resources, reassurances
that he would be okay.
They spoke of clinical trials.
They didn't want to destroy any hope.
He has a full life ahead of him.
My gosh, so unfair; he is only twenty-four.
We spoke about comfort care.
We spoke about quality of life.
What would be his wishes?
What would he tell you to do?
"I gave him permission to go.
I said we’d be alright.
He's going to a better place.
Do we call hospice when he stops breathing?"
Yes, they know.
They all truly know.
Sunday, June 25, 2017
Saturday, June 17, 2017
SHE SPOKE
We admitted, "Elizabeth", to our hospice program today. Elizabeth suffers from ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease). She has been in a recent decline to where now she is wheelchair bound and dependent with all of her needs.
Elizabeth immediately welcomed the nurse and I into her home. She had this broad, beautiful smile while asking her hired caregiver to move two chairs over near her. Elizabeth spoke softly, but her words and heart were so amazing. She spoke of her family, friends and the support she receives in such an appreciative way.
Elizabeth was a Neo-natal physician and shared stories about her work experiences. She shared so much love with families in such stressful moments. She also shared a few stories about how it was, at times, a blessing to let a child go. Elizabeth's words were so powerful because of the immense love she had while sharing them.
One amazing coincidence presented itself during the hospice nurse's and my conversation with Elizabeth. The nurse said that she was two months premature and weighed three pounds at birth. Elizabeth then shared her thoughts and insight about premies. I was then able to add that I, too, was three months premature and also weighed three pounds at birth. Elizabeth was able to share that my weight came on earlier than typically expected. It made me think how fortunate I was as that may be the reason I was able to survive. My parents were told that there was a 25% chance of survival for me.
There are folks that we meet along our journey that cross our paths only once. I feel so blessed that I was able to meet Elizabeth. I sure do hope our paths cross again. She is such an inspiration.
SHE SPOKE
The moment you walk into her home
you feel her kindness; you feel her compassion.
She spoke so softly, so genuine.
Her heart permeated the room.
She spoke of her dependence.
Her disease and its impact on her life.
"I wish I were dead.
I wish I wasn't lucid."
She was a neo-natal physician by trade.
She spoke of newborns less than a pound.
How so many were saved to fulfill productive lives;
while others did not fare so well.
She still remembers her first one pound baby.
"His name is Ronald. He is thirty-five now.
He is living a full, healthy life.
He is someone I will never forget."
She thanked us for our kindness; our compassion,
but she is the one with an amazing, spiritual heart.
It was so beautiful; so obvious to all.
It became apparent immediately
because
She spoke.
Elizabeth immediately welcomed the nurse and I into her home. She had this broad, beautiful smile while asking her hired caregiver to move two chairs over near her. Elizabeth spoke softly, but her words and heart were so amazing. She spoke of her family, friends and the support she receives in such an appreciative way.
Elizabeth was a Neo-natal physician and shared stories about her work experiences. She shared so much love with families in such stressful moments. She also shared a few stories about how it was, at times, a blessing to let a child go. Elizabeth's words were so powerful because of the immense love she had while sharing them.
One amazing coincidence presented itself during the hospice nurse's and my conversation with Elizabeth. The nurse said that she was two months premature and weighed three pounds at birth. Elizabeth then shared her thoughts and insight about premies. I was then able to add that I, too, was three months premature and also weighed three pounds at birth. Elizabeth was able to share that my weight came on earlier than typically expected. It made me think how fortunate I was as that may be the reason I was able to survive. My parents were told that there was a 25% chance of survival for me.
There are folks that we meet along our journey that cross our paths only once. I feel so blessed that I was able to meet Elizabeth. I sure do hope our paths cross again. She is such an inspiration.
SHE SPOKE
The moment you walk into her home
you feel her kindness; you feel her compassion.
She spoke so softly, so genuine.
Her heart permeated the room.
She spoke of her dependence.
Her disease and its impact on her life.
"I wish I were dead.
I wish I wasn't lucid."
She was a neo-natal physician by trade.
She spoke of newborns less than a pound.
How so many were saved to fulfill productive lives;
while others did not fare so well.
She still remembers her first one pound baby.
"His name is Ronald. He is thirty-five now.
He is living a full, healthy life.
He is someone I will never forget."
She thanked us for our kindness; our compassion,
but she is the one with an amazing, spiritual heart.
It was so beautiful; so obvious to all.
It became apparent immediately
because
She spoke.
Saturday, June 10, 2017
WISE OLD SOUL
We admitted, "Cathy", to hospice today after a three year struggle with cancer. One's first impression of Cathy, is that she has had a rough life. She instantly smiles when she meets you, along with a wisecrack. She accepts life in such a positive, humorous way.
Cathy has recently declined to where she is much weaker. Cathy says she could use a walker as she is now wobbly on her feet. She is eating very little and sleeping a lot more during the day. She has totally accepted her terminal diagnosis and poor prognosis. She has strong Native American beliefs about life and lives those beliefs daily.
Her humor was off-the-wall hilarious. She had us all laughing when talking about her medication and recent decline. When I asked her if she had any fears or concerns, she stated that she wishes she would know that she would die in a few days. She does not like burdening her family with her slowly increasing needs.
What was so amazing and wonderful, is that Cathy lives her beliefs every day. She accepts where others are in their beliefs, but truly has such a strong spiritual insight. She has lived many more years than her age. She is an amazing soul.
ADDENDUM: Cathy got her wish, as five days later she died peacefully with her family by her bedside.
WISE OLD SOUL
She has no fear of dying.
"We all are going to do it".
Not sure of the other side,
"But it will be an adventure."
She embraces her life;
one moment at a time.
Accepting, loving, giving.
Her natural personality just shines.
She was a Corrections Officer by trade.
She comes across rough and tough.
She is straightforward and direct,
using sarcastic humor to lighten her load.
I was drawn to her instantly.
Amazed by her strong beliefs.
Spiritually living each day
knowing it may be her last.
She is a natural teacher about life.
Her mystical energy just flows.
She is the wisest of old souls,
at such a young age
of only
forty-five.
Cathy has recently declined to where she is much weaker. Cathy says she could use a walker as she is now wobbly on her feet. She is eating very little and sleeping a lot more during the day. She has totally accepted her terminal diagnosis and poor prognosis. She has strong Native American beliefs about life and lives those beliefs daily.
Her humor was off-the-wall hilarious. She had us all laughing when talking about her medication and recent decline. When I asked her if she had any fears or concerns, she stated that she wishes she would know that she would die in a few days. She does not like burdening her family with her slowly increasing needs.
What was so amazing and wonderful, is that Cathy lives her beliefs every day. She accepts where others are in their beliefs, but truly has such a strong spiritual insight. She has lived many more years than her age. She is an amazing soul.
ADDENDUM: Cathy got her wish, as five days later she died peacefully with her family by her bedside.
WISE OLD SOUL
She has no fear of dying.
"We all are going to do it".
Not sure of the other side,
"But it will be an adventure."
She embraces her life;
one moment at a time.
Accepting, loving, giving.
Her natural personality just shines.
She was a Corrections Officer by trade.
She comes across rough and tough.
She is straightforward and direct,
using sarcastic humor to lighten her load.
I was drawn to her instantly.
Amazed by her strong beliefs.
Spiritually living each day
knowing it may be her last.
She is a natural teacher about life.
Her mystical energy just flows.
She is the wisest of old souls,
at such a young age
of only
forty-five.
Saturday, June 3, 2017
WE WILL KNOW
I have been with so many hospice patients, who get to a certain point, that they are fully aware that they are done. They feel it on such an unemotional basis. It is like the next step for them. We admitted "Betsy", eighty-one, to hospice today after suffering a major stroke. She was discharged home today from the hospital.
Her daughter, "Judy", is her primary caretaker and wants to do what is best for mom. She and her mother have always been close. Mom can no longer talk, but does understand. Judy tries to ask her mom simple questions where her mother can nod her head yes or no.
Two weeks ago, when this first happened, Betsy did tell her daughter and her family what she wanted. One thing I know for sure, there is total love in this home. I told Betsy's daughter that she is doing things so perfectly for her mom as she is giving her love and she is accepting Mom's decision.
WE WILL KNOW
Somehow I truly believe
that we all can reach the point
where we say and truly know,
"I am done."
We all want independence.
We all want quality of life.
Each defined so individually.
It is such a personal choice.
She was fine two weeks ago.
She was fully living and enjoying life.
A major stroke after a sudden heart attack.
Her life so dramatically changed.
She is now bedridden; not eating at all.
She is blind; no longer can talk.
She will nod her head to questions asked.
She knows what is going on.
They all know what she wants.
They all know it is her time
as two weeks ago she told them all,
"I am finished.
I am done."
Her daughter, "Judy", is her primary caretaker and wants to do what is best for mom. She and her mother have always been close. Mom can no longer talk, but does understand. Judy tries to ask her mom simple questions where her mother can nod her head yes or no.
Two weeks ago, when this first happened, Betsy did tell her daughter and her family what she wanted. One thing I know for sure, there is total love in this home. I told Betsy's daughter that she is doing things so perfectly for her mom as she is giving her love and she is accepting Mom's decision.
WE WILL KNOW
Somehow I truly believe
that we all can reach the point
where we say and truly know,
"I am done."
We all want independence.
We all want quality of life.
Each defined so individually.
It is such a personal choice.
She was fine two weeks ago.
She was fully living and enjoying life.
A major stroke after a sudden heart attack.
Her life so dramatically changed.
She is now bedridden; not eating at all.
She is blind; no longer can talk.
She will nod her head to questions asked.
She knows what is going on.
They all know what she wants.
They all know it is her time
as two weeks ago she told them all,
"I am finished.
I am done."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)