"Kathy", sixty years old, was diagnosed with a stomach cancer two weeks ago. Kathy was discharged home from the hospital today as there was no further treatment. Kathy becomes nauseous when eating any solid food and has stopped eating because of that. Kathy can only take in liquids.
Kathy is now bed bound, weak and dependent with all of her daily needs. Kathy is single and has no family, but has three close girlfriends who have rallied to be by her side. The plan is for the three of them to share care giving support to Kathy so that Kathy is never alone.
Kathy’s mother died two months ago from the same cancer, yet Kathy continues to smile and tease her girlfriends. She is very positive even when asking for help from her friends. Kathy is very direct, honest and open with her emotions. She just amazed me with her spunk, even though her weakness did impact her ability to manage simple tasks.
Seeing someone in Kathy’s position, makes me questions what it is all about and why do some folks seems to suffer more than others? Hopefully one day, we all will have an answer and hopefully will understand. I just know that I have so many unanswered questions. I wish Kathy the best.
WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT?
Life is full of questions.
The more we learn,
the more we experience.
And we'll always have more questions.
Her life has dealt her struggles.
Multiple bouts of different cancers.
She is tough; she is strong.
She has always battled through.
Two weeks ago, another diagnosis.
She is now weak, dependent, bedridden.
Nauseous, so only drinking water.
This cancer may be her last.
She has no family, but amazing friends.
They have rallied around her for support.
She uses humor with them, and they back,
staying positive no matter what.
She is still grieving her mother’s death.
Two months ago with the same diagnosis.
She has amazing grace and strength
revealing her beautiful soul.
My biggest question is “Why her?”
“What does she need to learn or teach?”
She has suffered so many losses,
but her smile continues to remain.
"What is it all about?"
Saturday, April 29, 2017
Saturday, April 22, 2017
EIGHT DAYS
I met "Sam's" family several months ago when the family requested that our hospice make a visit to educate them about our program. We spoke with Sam's son, "Andy" at that time as Sam was in a deep sleep during the initial visit. After we explained our program and left literature, Andy said that he wanted to speak with the rest of his family prior to making a decision to admit their father to our program.
Our Admission Department received a call about Sam early today from the hospital where he had been a patient for several days. Sam's diet this past month has been mostly comfort foods. Foods that take less energy to eat. That too has changed, as Sam now has stopped eating or drinking any fluids for several days. His family wanted him discharged home with hospice support so that he could die peacefully in his home.
The hospital coordinated with our Admission staff regarding a plan to discharge Sam to home today and admitting him to our program. I went out to the home forty-five minutes before Sam arrived home. I educated Sam's three children about our program and completed all of the admission paperwork moments before the ambulance transported Sam home.
Even though he was imminent, Sam touched my heart so deeply as we both were the same age. He made me realize how random illness can be. We all have heard folks say, "There for but the Grace of God go I". It makes me feel so blessed and thankful for all that I have and, hopefully, will continue to receive, this life.
ADDENDUM: Sam died peacefully the following morning with his family by his side.
EIGHT DAYS
He has an amazing family
who are always by his side.
Mind and body deeply impacted
from a devastating illness.
He had been doing quite well
until this recent decline.
His ten year illness winning the battle;
now imminent with death likely soon.
This family touched my heart
with their strong love and devotion.
They were realistic about his poor prognosis,
but ready, as he has suffered far too long.
He, being eight days younger than I,
gave me a mindful connection to him.
I, so easily, could have been the dependent one;
needing help with all of my needs.
Illness is so random.
It touches with no purpose at all.
No one knows who will be next.
So embrace eight days,
one month,
one year,
or whatever you got.
Our Admission Department received a call about Sam early today from the hospital where he had been a patient for several days. Sam's diet this past month has been mostly comfort foods. Foods that take less energy to eat. That too has changed, as Sam now has stopped eating or drinking any fluids for several days. His family wanted him discharged home with hospice support so that he could die peacefully in his home.
The hospital coordinated with our Admission staff regarding a plan to discharge Sam to home today and admitting him to our program. I went out to the home forty-five minutes before Sam arrived home. I educated Sam's three children about our program and completed all of the admission paperwork moments before the ambulance transported Sam home.
Even though he was imminent, Sam touched my heart so deeply as we both were the same age. He made me realize how random illness can be. We all have heard folks say, "There for but the Grace of God go I". It makes me feel so blessed and thankful for all that I have and, hopefully, will continue to receive, this life.
ADDENDUM: Sam died peacefully the following morning with his family by his side.
EIGHT DAYS
He has an amazing family
who are always by his side.
Mind and body deeply impacted
from a devastating illness.
He had been doing quite well
until this recent decline.
His ten year illness winning the battle;
now imminent with death likely soon.
This family touched my heart
with their strong love and devotion.
They were realistic about his poor prognosis,
but ready, as he has suffered far too long.
He, being eight days younger than I,
gave me a mindful connection to him.
I, so easily, could have been the dependent one;
needing help with all of my needs.
Illness is so random.
It touches with no purpose at all.
No one knows who will be next.
So embrace eight days,
one month,
one year,
or whatever you got.
Saturday, April 15, 2017
COWBOY
"Mike," ninety-eight years old, came onto hospice today due to weakness and multiple falls. Mike lives alone in a Residential Care Facility. He loves it there and has been very active until one week ago when he ended up twice in the Emergency Room after two separate falls. Since then, Mike has lost weight and is eating poorly.
The hospice nurse and I met Mike and his son, "Buddy", in Mike's apartment. Mike initially appeared very frail, thin and weak. Once we walked up to him sitting in his recliner, he showed us the biggest smile. Mike has such a positive outlook on life and laughed so easily.
Mike and Buddy started to share family stories about Mike's past of being a cowboy. Buddy stated that this past week has been such a dramatic decline for his father. Eight months ago, Mike was riding his bicycle thirty to forty miles several days each week. Currently he struggles when using his walker. He is at high risk for falling.
Mike started sharing many stories about his life. He was so engaging in his positive attitude. On our way out the door, after an hour of Mike's amazing stories, we saw him tough and rugged; the true him.
Every experience each of us has had, makes us who we are today. It doesn't get much better than that.
COWBOY
Looking at him,
one would never guess;
his rugged life;
his exciting past.
He's frail, he's thin.
Wobbly on his feet.
What most of us would expect
after ninety-eight years of life.
He will talk about his wife.
He is so proud of his son.
His family has always come first.
He feels blessed for it to be so.
He was in the Cavalry in the 1930s.
Riding his horse throughout the US.
He then became a cowboy for years.
A drover on the plains.
While sharing his stories
you begin to see the true him.
His spirit shines brightly
sharing his soul: exposing his truth;
big, strong,
tough, rugged.
Forevermore;
The Cowboy.
The hospice nurse and I met Mike and his son, "Buddy", in Mike's apartment. Mike initially appeared very frail, thin and weak. Once we walked up to him sitting in his recliner, he showed us the biggest smile. Mike has such a positive outlook on life and laughed so easily.
Mike and Buddy started to share family stories about Mike's past of being a cowboy. Buddy stated that this past week has been such a dramatic decline for his father. Eight months ago, Mike was riding his bicycle thirty to forty miles several days each week. Currently he struggles when using his walker. He is at high risk for falling.
Mike started sharing many stories about his life. He was so engaging in his positive attitude. On our way out the door, after an hour of Mike's amazing stories, we saw him tough and rugged; the true him.
Every experience each of us has had, makes us who we are today. It doesn't get much better than that.
COWBOY
Looking at him,
one would never guess;
his rugged life;
his exciting past.
He's frail, he's thin.
Wobbly on his feet.
What most of us would expect
after ninety-eight years of life.
He will talk about his wife.
He is so proud of his son.
His family has always come first.
He feels blessed for it to be so.
He was in the Cavalry in the 1930s.
Riding his horse throughout the US.
He then became a cowboy for years.
A drover on the plains.
While sharing his stories
you begin to see the true him.
His spirit shines brightly
sharing his soul: exposing his truth;
big, strong,
tough, rugged.
Forevermore;
The Cowboy.
Sunday, April 9, 2017
HUMOR
"Bette", eighty-three, was diagnosed a few months ago with liver cancer. Bette has been in a decline since the diagnosis. For years, she lived alone and able to handle all of her daily needs. With the increasing symptoms, Bette needed a lot more help. So a few weeks ago, Bette moved in with her daughter, "Kendra".
Bette walks slowly using a front wheeled walker. She has a poor appetite and is eating very little. Because of that, she is also losing weight. Her biggest complaint is weakness. Bette now needs someone nearby when she is up and about as she is at risk for falling.
The hospice nurse and I went out this morning to admit Bette to our program. Bette and Kendra teased each other so lovingly. It was cute and funny in a delightful way. They had us both laughing so hard at times. Bette denied any fears or concerns about her terminal prognosis. She has a strong Christian faith and stated, "I know where I am going." Kendra stated that her mother recently told her that she is ready to go to heaven.
What is helping this family cope is their sense of humor. Humor lightens their load and takes the edge off of the stressful situation. Bette's journey will be what it will be, but I know she will continue to tease and laugh along the way.
HUMOR
During the course of my day
I observe many sad moments.
Folks learn to cope in whatever way that works.
More often that not, it is humor.
She had been so independent her entire life.
She was used to doing anything she chose.
Her recent diagnosis of cancer changed all that.
She can no longer live alone.
She moved in with her daughter for help.
It has worked out well for each of them.
They both share how they are best friends;
teasing each other and laughing as they go.
I asked her how long she had been divorced.
She crinkled up her face with a twinkle in her eye,
"It has been forty years.
These are the best years of my life!"
Recently she has lost so much.
Her independence; her ability to get around.
But one thing, I know, she will always have;
and never let go,
her wonderful sense
of humor.
Bette walks slowly using a front wheeled walker. She has a poor appetite and is eating very little. Because of that, she is also losing weight. Her biggest complaint is weakness. Bette now needs someone nearby when she is up and about as she is at risk for falling.
The hospice nurse and I went out this morning to admit Bette to our program. Bette and Kendra teased each other so lovingly. It was cute and funny in a delightful way. They had us both laughing so hard at times. Bette denied any fears or concerns about her terminal prognosis. She has a strong Christian faith and stated, "I know where I am going." Kendra stated that her mother recently told her that she is ready to go to heaven.
What is helping this family cope is their sense of humor. Humor lightens their load and takes the edge off of the stressful situation. Bette's journey will be what it will be, but I know she will continue to tease and laugh along the way.
HUMOR
During the course of my day
I observe many sad moments.
Folks learn to cope in whatever way that works.
More often that not, it is humor.
She had been so independent her entire life.
She was used to doing anything she chose.
Her recent diagnosis of cancer changed all that.
She can no longer live alone.
She moved in with her daughter for help.
It has worked out well for each of them.
They both share how they are best friends;
teasing each other and laughing as they go.
I asked her how long she had been divorced.
She crinkled up her face with a twinkle in her eye,
"It has been forty years.
These are the best years of my life!"
Recently she has lost so much.
Her independence; her ability to get around.
But one thing, I know, she will always have;
and never let go,
her wonderful sense
of humor.
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