HIS WISHES

Being the Admission Social Worker, I do not follow the patients after they are on hospice. After the admission, each case is assigned a nurse and a Social Worker. "Manuel", eighty-four, suffered from end stage cardiac disease. He was diagnosed a week before we admitted him to our program. He was then told that there was no treatment for him.

Manuel was Spanish speaking only, so his youngest daughter, "Michelle", acted as the translator. Manuel was married twice. He had ten children from his first marriage. Michelle was his only child from his second wife. Michelle and her father had a special relationship. It was so obvious that Michelle wanted what was best for her father.

I spoke about completing an Advanced Directive in order for Manual to choose an agent who would willingly follow his wishes if he ever got in a situation where he could not. I had the paperwork with me, but it was in English. I knew we had copies of Spanish Advanced Directives in the office so I later informed the assigned Social Worker to follow up when she made her first visit.

Manual completed the paperwork naming Michelle as his agent. Three days later, Manual peacefully died. Michelle took over and strongly advocated for her father even though his other children used a lot of pressure to have him cremated, not considering their father's wishes at all of having a traditional Hispanic burial..

Funeral homes honor Advanced Directives knowing it is a legal document. While Michelle and her siblings were at the funeral home, they tried to pressure the mortuary employee to follow their wishes of cremation. She sided with Michelle knowing that legally Michelle had the authority to request her father's wishes.

Money was scarce, but that didn't stop Michelle. She was so determined to follow her father's wishes that she found a way to honor him. It became clear that Manuel surely knew whom he trusted to be his agent. Love does conquers all.


HIS WISHES

His illness came on fast.
He was declining rapidly.
No Advanced Directive yet on file.
He needed to get the paperwork done.

He trusted his daughter with all his heart.
He knew she would always follow his wishes
so he assigned her to be his agent
believing and knowing she would do things right.

Days later he was peacefully gone.
She knew what to do next
as he had always spoke of having
a traditional Hispanic burial.

Her siblings pressured her to cremate him
as no one had money to pay for a burial.
They wanted his ashes for themselves,
not considering his wishes to be important at all.

She initiated a car wash
to raise money for his burial.
Three days later, she had enough cash
to bury him the traditional way.

It was important for him to have her in charge.
It was important for her to do things his way.
Her determination, her drive and her heart
allowed her to easily find a way
          to follow
                   her father's wishes.