The hospice nurse and I went out to admit "Olivia" to our hospice program. Olivia was diagnosed five years ago with stomach cancer. Olivia continued to live her life fully these past years as her symptoms were minimal.
Three weeks ago, new symptoms erupted causing her some discomfort and weakness. Olivia was not able to participate in her life as fully as she had been used to doing. She still went out and did the best she could do, although it made her aware of the impact of that diagnosis five years ago.
Olivia saw no obstacles in her life that would stop her from doing what she wanted to do. She would move forward and succeed as never even considered failure as an option. Olivia has such a positive personality and laughed so easily. Her life worked out well because she believed it would.
She is an inspiration. We all should live that way; a positive attitude, a belief in oneself and the ability to live a full life while embracing each day.
A FULL LIFE
She lives each day to the fullest.
There isn't much to slow her down.
She goes out and embraces her days
determined to enjoy every one of them.
Each day starts early.
She is at poolside by 6AM.
Used to swimming six laps,
now, with regrets, she can only do three.
She was diagnosed a few years ago,
but was still fully able to enjoy each day.
New symptoms are now evolving
slowing her down; impacting her life.
She still walks with her head held high.
She still will embrace each day.
It will take a lot to slow her down
as she still, and always will be,
the one who definitely is in charge.
Her spirit is vital and alive.
Her memory; as sharp as they come.
Meeting and spending time with her,
it is still hard to believe her youthful age
of ninety-six.
She lives each day to the fullest.
There isn't much to slow her down.
She goes out and embraces her days
enjoying each and every one of them.
Saturday, February 25, 2017
Saturday, February 18, 2017
HIS WISHES
Being the Admission Social Worker, I do not follow the patients after they are on hospice. After the admission, each case is assigned a nurse and a Social Worker. "Manuel", eighty-four, suffered from end stage cardiac disease. He was diagnosed a week before we admitted him to our program. He was then told that there was no treatment for him.
Manuel was Spanish speaking only, so his youngest daughter, "Michelle", acted as the translator. Manuel was married twice. He had ten children from his first marriage. Michelle was his only child from his second wife. Michelle and her father had a special relationship. It was so obvious that Michelle wanted what was best for her father.
I spoke about completing an Advanced Directive in order for Manual to choose an agent who would willingly follow his wishes if he ever got in a situation where he could not. I had the paperwork with me, but it was in English. I knew we had copies of Spanish Advanced Directives in the office so I later informed the assigned Social Worker to follow up when she made her first visit.
Manual completed the paperwork naming Michelle as his agent. Three days later, Manual peacefully died. Michelle took over and strongly advocated for her father even though his other children used a lot of pressure to have him cremated, not considering their father's wishes at all of having a traditional Hispanic burial..
Funeral homes honor Advanced Directives knowing it is a legal document. While Michelle and her siblings were at the funeral home, they tried to pressure the mortuary employee to follow their wishes of cremation. She sided with Michelle knowing that legally Michelle had the authority to request her father's wishes.
Money was scarce, but that didn't stop Michelle. She was so determined to follow her father's wishes that she found a way to honor him. It became clear that Manuel surely knew whom he trusted to be his agent. Love does conquers all.
HIS WISHES
His illness came on fast.
He was declining rapidly.
No Advanced Directive yet on file.
He needed to get the paperwork done.
He trusted his daughter with all his heart.
He knew she would always follow his wishes
so he assigned her to be his agent
believing and knowing she would do things right.
Days later he was peacefully gone.
She knew what to do next
as he had always spoke of having
a traditional Hispanic burial.
Her siblings pressured her to cremate him
as no one had money to pay for a burial.
They wanted his ashes for themselves,
not considering his wishes to be important at all.
She initiated a car wash
to raise money for his burial.
Three days later, she had enough cash
to bury him the traditional way.
It was important for him to have her in charge.
It was important for her to do things his way.
Her determination, her drive and her heart
allowed her to easily find a way
to follow
her father's wishes.
Manuel was Spanish speaking only, so his youngest daughter, "Michelle", acted as the translator. Manuel was married twice. He had ten children from his first marriage. Michelle was his only child from his second wife. Michelle and her father had a special relationship. It was so obvious that Michelle wanted what was best for her father.
I spoke about completing an Advanced Directive in order for Manual to choose an agent who would willingly follow his wishes if he ever got in a situation where he could not. I had the paperwork with me, but it was in English. I knew we had copies of Spanish Advanced Directives in the office so I later informed the assigned Social Worker to follow up when she made her first visit.
Manual completed the paperwork naming Michelle as his agent. Three days later, Manual peacefully died. Michelle took over and strongly advocated for her father even though his other children used a lot of pressure to have him cremated, not considering their father's wishes at all of having a traditional Hispanic burial..
Funeral homes honor Advanced Directives knowing it is a legal document. While Michelle and her siblings were at the funeral home, they tried to pressure the mortuary employee to follow their wishes of cremation. She sided with Michelle knowing that legally Michelle had the authority to request her father's wishes.
Money was scarce, but that didn't stop Michelle. She was so determined to follow her father's wishes that she found a way to honor him. It became clear that Manuel surely knew whom he trusted to be his agent. Love does conquers all.
HIS WISHES
His illness came on fast.
He was declining rapidly.
No Advanced Directive yet on file.
He needed to get the paperwork done.
He trusted his daughter with all his heart.
He knew she would always follow his wishes
so he assigned her to be his agent
believing and knowing she would do things right.
Days later he was peacefully gone.
She knew what to do next
as he had always spoke of having
a traditional Hispanic burial.
Her siblings pressured her to cremate him
as no one had money to pay for a burial.
They wanted his ashes for themselves,
not considering his wishes to be important at all.
She initiated a car wash
to raise money for his burial.
Three days later, she had enough cash
to bury him the traditional way.
It was important for him to have her in charge.
It was important for her to do things his way.
Her determination, her drive and her heart
allowed her to easily find a way
to follow
her father's wishes.
Sunday, February 12, 2017
WHAT SHE NEEDS
My husband and I have known Peggy and Ellis for years. Every few months, we meet at the buffet in the local casino for lunch. The four of us will sit for several hours eating lunch while laughing and sharing stories.
Peggy was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer years ago. She had been doing quite well until this past year. She now undergoes chemotherapy every three out of four weeks. The treatment makes her ill, but she takes medication to ease the symptoms. Peggy never complains and has accepted her situation. She is very open and honest about it all.
Peggy and Ellis use humor to cope. They are both so loving and giving to others. Peggy recently was hospitalized due to a health setback. My husband and I had been previously talking about how there likely will come a time when Peggy will say, "That's enough."
I now know that that time is near as after our lunch today, Peggy turned to me and said she wanted me there when she goes on hospice. I assured her that absolutely I will always be there for her and Ellis. I will be there as her supportive friend and help her in any way that I can. I was so honored that she asked me. I then shared with Peggy my belief about asking another for help, "The one whom you ask for help, needs it as much as you do."
WHAT SHE NEEDS
She was diagnosed with cancer years ago.
She amazes me with how she copes.
She never complains, but shows acceptance;
"It is just the way things are."
We have known each other for years.
We meet for lunch and will talk for hours.
She is realistic and open about her disease.
Ongoing chemotherapy for life.
She and her husband make us laugh.
They are goofy and funny at the same time.
There life is full of warmth and joy;
although with setbacks and hospitalizations.
The four of us met today to catch up on things.
As typical, over a long lunch.
Lots of stories with laughter mixed in;
along with time that quickly passed.
She is thinking about her future.
She knows her illness is taking a toll,
because after the meal she requested of me,
"When I go on hospice,
I want you to be there."
I was honored and deeply moved,
and answered her from my heart,
"Yes, I will always be there for you."
It is what I needed,
but so nice to know
that she needs it too.
Peggy was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer years ago. She had been doing quite well until this past year. She now undergoes chemotherapy every three out of four weeks. The treatment makes her ill, but she takes medication to ease the symptoms. Peggy never complains and has accepted her situation. She is very open and honest about it all.
Peggy and Ellis use humor to cope. They are both so loving and giving to others. Peggy recently was hospitalized due to a health setback. My husband and I had been previously talking about how there likely will come a time when Peggy will say, "That's enough."
I now know that that time is near as after our lunch today, Peggy turned to me and said she wanted me there when she goes on hospice. I assured her that absolutely I will always be there for her and Ellis. I will be there as her supportive friend and help her in any way that I can. I was so honored that she asked me. I then shared with Peggy my belief about asking another for help, "The one whom you ask for help, needs it as much as you do."
WHAT SHE NEEDS
She was diagnosed with cancer years ago.
She amazes me with how she copes.
She never complains, but shows acceptance;
"It is just the way things are."
We have known each other for years.
We meet for lunch and will talk for hours.
She is realistic and open about her disease.
Ongoing chemotherapy for life.
She and her husband make us laugh.
They are goofy and funny at the same time.
There life is full of warmth and joy;
although with setbacks and hospitalizations.
The four of us met today to catch up on things.
As typical, over a long lunch.
Lots of stories with laughter mixed in;
along with time that quickly passed.
She is thinking about her future.
She knows her illness is taking a toll,
because after the meal she requested of me,
"When I go on hospice,
I want you to be there."
I was honored and deeply moved,
and answered her from my heart,
"Yes, I will always be there for you."
It is what I needed,
but so nice to know
that she needs it too.
Saturday, February 4, 2017
GRANDMA CARED
The hospice nurse and I went out to admit, "Kelly", a sixty-three year old suffering from Alzheimer's Disease. Kelly has needed help throughout her life as she also suffers from Down's Syndrome. Kelly was being cared for by her sister, "Stacey".
Stacey just wanted the facts about hospice. I spoke about the hospice team members and the support each is able to give patients and families. When I mentioned the chaplain, Stacey adamantly shook her head strongly saying, "No!" I tried to explain that, yes, religion is spiritual, but spirituality is so much more than that. It is about one’s philosophy regarding life or about their garden etc.
When we offered any compassion to Stacey, she would state, “I am fine. Now what about....? “ I think our compassion touched her heart as she started to share her lifelong health problems. She would talk for about five minutes and then say, “Enough about me, we need to move on.” A few minutes later, she would add more about her life. Stacey was so fascinating and had a wonderful way of sharing her history. In the midst of her health problems, she would tell us about a family member or a friend whom she helped.
Stacey didn’t want us to see her heart, but when she shared the story about her surgery at age two, my heart totally melted and I had some tears in my eyes. It was a beautiful story. Stacey gives out so much love, but she downplays it. It is a natural way for her to just be who she is. What a beautiful person. Her warmth, her love, her stories will, thankfully, stay with me for a long time.
GRANDMA CARED
She has had struggles throughout her life.
Many health issues have impacted her family.
She learned all about caring
and all about love early on.
She is the one the family turns to
when needing help and support.
She does it without complaint saying,
"It is something that has to be done."
She acts tough and strong.
No emotions are allowed out.
But then she started to share her stories.
How her own health has impacted her life.
A birth defect affecting her skull.
So many surgeries throughout her life.
But the most memorable one of all,
was at a young age of two.
She remembers being in pain
until her deceased Grandma picked her up.
She was on Grandma's lap until surgery's end.
Then Grandma helped her back into her body.
She has been dealt difficult cards,
but she has positively embraced her pain
by helping others throughout her life.
At age two she learned all about love
because
Grandma cared.
Stacey just wanted the facts about hospice. I spoke about the hospice team members and the support each is able to give patients and families. When I mentioned the chaplain, Stacey adamantly shook her head strongly saying, "No!" I tried to explain that, yes, religion is spiritual, but spirituality is so much more than that. It is about one’s philosophy regarding life or about their garden etc.
When we offered any compassion to Stacey, she would state, “I am fine. Now what about....? “ I think our compassion touched her heart as she started to share her lifelong health problems. She would talk for about five minutes and then say, “Enough about me, we need to move on.” A few minutes later, she would add more about her life. Stacey was so fascinating and had a wonderful way of sharing her history. In the midst of her health problems, she would tell us about a family member or a friend whom she helped.
Stacey didn’t want us to see her heart, but when she shared the story about her surgery at age two, my heart totally melted and I had some tears in my eyes. It was a beautiful story. Stacey gives out so much love, but she downplays it. It is a natural way for her to just be who she is. What a beautiful person. Her warmth, her love, her stories will, thankfully, stay with me for a long time.
GRANDMA CARED
She has had struggles throughout her life.
Many health issues have impacted her family.
She learned all about caring
and all about love early on.
She is the one the family turns to
when needing help and support.
She does it without complaint saying,
"It is something that has to be done."
She acts tough and strong.
No emotions are allowed out.
But then she started to share her stories.
How her own health has impacted her life.
A birth defect affecting her skull.
So many surgeries throughout her life.
But the most memorable one of all,
was at a young age of two.
She remembers being in pain
until her deceased Grandma picked her up.
She was on Grandma's lap until surgery's end.
Then Grandma helped her back into her body.
She has been dealt difficult cards,
but she has positively embraced her pain
by helping others throughout her life.
At age two she learned all about love
because
Grandma cared.
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