We opened two patients to hospice today. There were many coincidences between these two families. Both men were in their late eighties with a recent diagnosis of lung cancer. In addition, each of their wives suffered from dementia.
We were warmly welcomed into their homes. Being gracious hostesses, both wives kept offering us something to drink. They listened while we explained our hospice program and the supports that are available. They listened without questioning as had no conflicts with us being there. Both wives stated, "When my husband recovers...."
The children of each gentlemen were stressed by the double whammy of having both parents needing a lot of help. They were trying to create a successful plan to care for their parents. Fortunately one family has five supportive children while the other couple had three. It was beautiful to see as all of the children were supportive to their parents and to each other.
I know each family will fully look out for their father. They will have to make another plan for their mother once their father is gone; as life does continue on. Life doesn't stop for anyone. At that time, mom will need their full focus. Both families have a lot of support and a lot of love. All I could do was wish them well.
LIFE CONTINUES ON
A new terminal diagnosis.
Feeling overwhelmed; a little bit scared.
"Stop the world a minute.
I've got to get off."
Both of these men have lung cancer.
Both have been married over fifty years.
Both of their wives have dementia.
Life continues on.
How much do the women remember?
How much do they understand?
Each welcomed us into their home.
Do they truly know what hospice is all about?
Both spoke about their plans
when their spouses get better.
Both are devoted to their husbands
as love is what they know.
Now double duty for their kids
as both parents need their help.
Taking turns being available
as dad's decline is fast.
Dad may have just weeks
while mom has many years.
The children are now the parents
as life
continues on.
Saturday, January 28, 2017
Saturday, January 21, 2017
"OPEN YOUR HEART"
“Charles”, ninety-six years old, has been married to his wife “Amanda” for seventy-five years. Their daughter, “Ruth” lives with them to care for their needs. Charles was referred to hospice due to heart disease. Amanda, ninety-three, is still very independent with her needs. Both Charles and Amanda look and act so much younger than their years.
Toward the end of our visit, Ruth started to talk about her drug and alcohol history. Her health has been deeply affected due to those choices. Ruth became sober and began to counsel other drug addicts and alcoholics. In addition, she was on a waiting list for a liver transplant.
Ruth told us all about her out-of-body experience and how it has totally changed her life. She has no fears about dying as she knows heaven is such a beautiful place. I, too, had an out-of-body experience three years ago. I shared my experience with Ruth. It was then we started to process what it was all about.
It was such a profound and amazing experience, it still humbles me. It has also changed my life. I am still astounded that it happened. At first, I felt that I needed to do something great with it, but now have come to just share my story one on one when my spirit guides me. Ruth and I both have come to the conclusion that life is really not all that complex. It is about helping our fellow man while following our own hearts.
I truly believe that death is just a new beginning. I believe that we will be perfectly fine and will all be together once again.
"OPEN YOUR HEART"
She spoke about her out-of-body experience.
How Jesus was sitting on her bed.
He looked at her with loving eyes and said,
"Open your heart."
She has had a rough life.
Drugs and alcohol took a strong hold.
It impacted her health greatly,
while opening her eyes to make better choices.
She counseled others on drug and alcohol
while on a waiting list for a liver transplant.
Two years ago, the hospital called.
It was then when she saw Jesus.
Previously, her life had been so complicated.
She traveled on way too many rough roads.
Her life experiences have made her compassionate;
teaching and helping others while sober.
Quite often, it is so easy to make life complex;
but maybe it isn’t that difficult after all.
Flow where your heart leads you
while helping your fellow man along the way.
It really is quite effortless
from someone all powerful and strong.
All you need to do is
“Open your heart.”
Toward the end of our visit, Ruth started to talk about her drug and alcohol history. Her health has been deeply affected due to those choices. Ruth became sober and began to counsel other drug addicts and alcoholics. In addition, she was on a waiting list for a liver transplant.
Ruth told us all about her out-of-body experience and how it has totally changed her life. She has no fears about dying as she knows heaven is such a beautiful place. I, too, had an out-of-body experience three years ago. I shared my experience with Ruth. It was then we started to process what it was all about.
It was such a profound and amazing experience, it still humbles me. It has also changed my life. I am still astounded that it happened. At first, I felt that I needed to do something great with it, but now have come to just share my story one on one when my spirit guides me. Ruth and I both have come to the conclusion that life is really not all that complex. It is about helping our fellow man while following our own hearts.
I truly believe that death is just a new beginning. I believe that we will be perfectly fine and will all be together once again.
"OPEN YOUR HEART"
She spoke about her out-of-body experience.
How Jesus was sitting on her bed.
He looked at her with loving eyes and said,
"Open your heart."
She has had a rough life.
Drugs and alcohol took a strong hold.
It impacted her health greatly,
while opening her eyes to make better choices.
She counseled others on drug and alcohol
while on a waiting list for a liver transplant.
Two years ago, the hospital called.
It was then when she saw Jesus.
Previously, her life had been so complicated.
She traveled on way too many rough roads.
Her life experiences have made her compassionate;
teaching and helping others while sober.
Quite often, it is so easy to make life complex;
but maybe it isn’t that difficult after all.
Flow where your heart leads you
while helping your fellow man along the way.
It really is quite effortless
from someone all powerful and strong.
All you need to do is
“Open your heart.”
Sunday, January 15, 2017
WANTING HER HOME
Late yesterday afternoon, "Barry" called hospice to talk about his mother, "Elizabeth." He moved his mother to his home two weeks ago from another state. He and his mom both agreed that as she was aging, her needs were slowly increasing. Barry wanted his mom to move in with he and his wife so they could care for her.
Five days ago, Elizabeth suffered a major stroke. She has been in a local hospital since that time. They were all hoping she would recover even though she has continued to be unresponsive. Through my conversations with Barry, one could feel the strong love and appreciation he had for his mother.
Barry and his wife stayed in the hospital, never leaving her side. They slept overnight in her hospital room on a cot. Barry and I spoke several times this morning while hospice was arranging for delivery of a bed and bedside table. In addition, I was sharing with Barry my conversations with the hospital's discharge planner.
A few minutes after my last call to Barry, the discharge planner called to say that the patient had died. Several hours later, I gave Barry a call to offer condolences and to see how he was coping. Barry shared that he left his mom's room for about five minutes. It was then that she died.
I shared with Barry that his mom was being a mom and left at the perfect time for her. She was protecting him like she has done her entire life. To me it was the perfect example of each giving the other a gift. Barry was at peace knowing he has always been there for his mom like she has been for him. In the end, it is all about love.
WANTING HER HOME
She was getting up in years.
She was starting to slow down.
She lived three states away
making it hard for him to help out.
He wanted her to move into his home.
He wanted to be able to care for her.
So two weeks ago she moved in
giving both of them some peace of mind.
Five days ago, she suffered a debilitating stroke.
She's been in the hospital, unresponsive, since then.
He wants to bring her back to his home
for a peaceful death with him by her side.
I spoke with him and the hospital staff
coordinating a plan for her to return home.
We scheduled a hospice visit for this afternoon
thinking she would be home by then.
Moments later, he left her hospital room.
It was then that she took her last breath.
She never made it back to his house
as someone else
needed her home.
Five days ago, Elizabeth suffered a major stroke. She has been in a local hospital since that time. They were all hoping she would recover even though she has continued to be unresponsive. Through my conversations with Barry, one could feel the strong love and appreciation he had for his mother.
Barry and his wife stayed in the hospital, never leaving her side. They slept overnight in her hospital room on a cot. Barry and I spoke several times this morning while hospice was arranging for delivery of a bed and bedside table. In addition, I was sharing with Barry my conversations with the hospital's discharge planner.
A few minutes after my last call to Barry, the discharge planner called to say that the patient had died. Several hours later, I gave Barry a call to offer condolences and to see how he was coping. Barry shared that he left his mom's room for about five minutes. It was then that she died.
I shared with Barry that his mom was being a mom and left at the perfect time for her. She was protecting him like she has done her entire life. To me it was the perfect example of each giving the other a gift. Barry was at peace knowing he has always been there for his mom like she has been for him. In the end, it is all about love.
WANTING HER HOME
She was getting up in years.
She was starting to slow down.
She lived three states away
making it hard for him to help out.
He wanted her to move into his home.
He wanted to be able to care for her.
So two weeks ago she moved in
giving both of them some peace of mind.
Five days ago, she suffered a debilitating stroke.
She's been in the hospital, unresponsive, since then.
He wants to bring her back to his home
for a peaceful death with him by her side.
I spoke with him and the hospital staff
coordinating a plan for her to return home.
We scheduled a hospice visit for this afternoon
thinking she would be home by then.
Moments later, he left her hospital room.
It was then that she took her last breath.
She never made it back to his house
as someone else
needed her home.
Saturday, January 7, 2017
SPIRITUALITY
At each hospice admission, I ask patients about their spirituality. Most folks think I am asking if they have a religion. I clarify it by saying that yes, religion is spiritual, but spirituality is so much more. It can be their garden, their walks in the park or so many other things. It truly is one's philosophy about life. One man shared that his spirituality was his Harley-Davidson and I believed him.
Ninety-five year old, "Bette", was opened to hospice because of lung disease. Bette is totally alert and oriented. She is able to walk around independently using her walker. She looks twenty years younger than her stated age. I believe it has a lot to do with her "young at heart" personality.
The hospice nurse and I sat at the kitchen table with Bette and many other family members. All were sharing stories about how Bette helped each of them out throughout their lives. They all admired and respected her. It was a beautiful thing to see. Bette was very practical. Family shared stories about how Bette embraced each of her days. Bette said that when she goes to bed at night, she will make a plan on what she will be doing the next day. She added, "It gives me so much pleasure."
She is easily able to put her thoughts in perspective and have a strong handle on things. Her spiritual belief was the same. I thought it was wonderful how she defined her philosophy on life. It was such an honor to have met her.
SPIRITUALITY
When I ask patients about their spirituality,
many think it is about one's faith.
But spirituality is so much more than religion.
It is also one's philosophy about life.
We all believe what makes sense to us.
We believe what we hope to be true.
No logic or reason can define it clearly.
It is one's belief without proof.
She will be ninety-six in a few weeks.
She's lived a long and wonderful life.
Her family shares stories about those she has touched.
She has truly given out unconditional love.
I asked her about her spirituality.
She said she never had any particular religion,
but does have a belief in God and the afterlife.
More importantly though, she believes in the good of mankind.
It is not that complicated at all to her.
The Golden Rule is what she believes.
"Do unto others as others would do unto you."
Simply put she added;
"What I truly believe in is
The Ten Commandments."
Ninety-five year old, "Bette", was opened to hospice because of lung disease. Bette is totally alert and oriented. She is able to walk around independently using her walker. She looks twenty years younger than her stated age. I believe it has a lot to do with her "young at heart" personality.
The hospice nurse and I sat at the kitchen table with Bette and many other family members. All were sharing stories about how Bette helped each of them out throughout their lives. They all admired and respected her. It was a beautiful thing to see. Bette was very practical. Family shared stories about how Bette embraced each of her days. Bette said that when she goes to bed at night, she will make a plan on what she will be doing the next day. She added, "It gives me so much pleasure."
She is easily able to put her thoughts in perspective and have a strong handle on things. Her spiritual belief was the same. I thought it was wonderful how she defined her philosophy on life. It was such an honor to have met her.
SPIRITUALITY
When I ask patients about their spirituality,
many think it is about one's faith.
But spirituality is so much more than religion.
It is also one's philosophy about life.
We all believe what makes sense to us.
We believe what we hope to be true.
No logic or reason can define it clearly.
It is one's belief without proof.
She will be ninety-six in a few weeks.
She's lived a long and wonderful life.
Her family shares stories about those she has touched.
She has truly given out unconditional love.
I asked her about her spirituality.
She said she never had any particular religion,
but does have a belief in God and the afterlife.
More importantly though, she believes in the good of mankind.
It is not that complicated at all to her.
The Golden Rule is what she believes.
"Do unto others as others would do unto you."
Simply put she added;
"What I truly believe in is
The Ten Commandments."
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