FEARS

Ninety-one year old, "Albert", has had heart disease for many years. One month ago, he suffered a major heart attack, which required him to spend several weeks in the hospital for recuperation. Albert is single and lives with his sister, who is helping him with his daily needs.

Albert has lost a lot of weight and can walk slowly with a walker, although is at risk of falling due to weakness. Where Albert once had been independent, he is now dependent on his sister for help. He is not safe to be alone and can no longer engage in activities that he once enjoyed.

The first thing one notices when they walk into his home, is his sarcastic sense of humor. In addition, Albert is very realistic and matter of fact. He has accepted his situation, although never wanted to live this way.

As a social worker, I assess how patients and families are coping. One question, I frequently ask is, "Do you have any fears?". I never assume to know how someone will respond. Answers can be all over the board. So many of us feel that the worse thing would be death. With my years of experience, I have learned that there are a lot of things worse than death. Albert is one prime example.

FEARS

When asking patients about fears;
we never have expectations of how one will respond,
although are never surprised to hear
fears of leaving my family or of the unknown.

More often that not,
there are no fears at all.
They are at peace; total acceptance.
Many are quite ready to go.

A heart attack a month ago
changed his life dramatically.
Now dependent and needing a lot of help.
He doesn't like living this way at all.

He's traveled all over the world.
Teaching students "higher math".
He speaks five languages; adventures untold.
"I've lived a good and long life."

When asked about any fears,
he was determined and unfaltering in his response,
"I have no fears about dying;
my greatest fear is living this way."