FIGHT!

Sixty-two year old, “Laura, suffers from colon cancer that has spread to her lungs. Laura was diagnosed two years old and had been doing quite well, until three months ago, when she started a slow decline. It was then we admitted her to our hospice program.

Laura has been married to “Dennis” for forty-three years. They have three adult children and eight grandchildren. Family all live nearby and visit frequently. This is a very close, religious and devoted family.

Laura has always been strong-willed with an independent personality. She is used to being in charge. Even with her limitations, she works at least one day a week as an office manager. Laura is fortunate as she can go in as often or as little as able. The past few days, though, Laura has been weakening. She is starting to have more bad days than good days.

During my routine visit today, Laura spoke a bit about her nineteen year old grandson who left today for a two year mission for the church. While he is away, family can only e-mail. She shared how hard it was to say goodbye to him knowing that she likely will never see or speak to him again.

She then started to cry saying that she was waiting for me to come as she had a question she needed to ask me. She asked if it was okay for her to continue to fight her disease. She spoke of feeling guilty as this has been going on for over two years. She added that she feels like a burden to her family.

I shared with her that her family is with her out of love, not burden. They need to be there for her as she has always been there for them. I said that there is no right or wrong way to do things, but Laura’s way. I said we all do ourselves best. I shared a quote I recently read that seemed so fitting, “Be yourself, everyone else is taken.” I added that it doesn’t matter what others think. The important thing is what you think. I told her to follow her heart and she won’t go wrong.

I asked her to share her feelings with her family, if she could. I know they will validate all what I said to Laura. I told her that what she was feeling was called, “normal”. The important thing is to do it her way. Even if she did stop fighting, her journey will be what it will be. As it is for all of us.


FIGHT!
　

She was waiting for my arrival.
There was something she needed to know.
Tears flowed as she asked,
“Is it okay for me to keep fighting?”

She’s been sick for over two years.
There’s been good days as well as bad.
She feels guilty as thinks she’s a burden to them,
but wants to continue to fight.

I told her, family is there as much for themselves.
They are with you out of love, not obligation.
Their need to be there comes from within.
You raised them all to care that way.

They want you to do this your way.
Follow your heart to what is right for you.
You guide the direction of your journey.
Keep up the fight for as long as you need.

Let them know how you are feeling.
They will tell you their truth.
Without a doubt, all would agree,
“Mom, you just continue to fight,
          until you’re done.”