DID?

I first met “Samantha” last week. Samantha suffers from brain cancer. It was obvious that her time was close as she had stopped eating two days earlier. She sleeps most of her days, although the day I visited, family had her out in the backyard in her wheelchair sitting in the sun. She could only speak a few words and it wasn’t clear how much she was understanding of what was going on around her.

Samantha has been married to “Jim” for twenty-two years. Jim is realistic about his wife’s decline and is aware that her time is limited. I spoke with Jim about the end-of-life process and left literature for him to read to help him understand what to expect.

I called Jim about 9:15 this morning to check in with him and to offer a visit. I woke him up with the phone call and he asked that I call him back in a little while as he wasn’t fully awake. I was going to call him in about an hour, but it didn’t feel quite right and so I waited thirty minutes longer.

When Jim answered my second call at 10:45, the first thing he told me was how thankful he was that I had woken him up at 9:15. He said he went to sit with Samantha after that first call and she peacefully died thirty minutes later. He said if I hadn’t called, she would have died alone while he was sleeping in the other room.

I told him that patients die when the time is perfect for them. They have control over when they let go. I told him that likely Samantha was waiting for him to get up, whether it was at 9:15 or later. I added that Samantha gave him the gift of leaving in his presence, while he also gave her the same gift back. It was a gift exchange between the two of them.

As a hospice social worker, I have had many similar experiences that bring up spiritual questions for me. Did Samantha nudge me to call Jim, was it God’s guidance, or could it have just been a coincidence? I don’t buy it being a coincidence as I do not believe in them. My take on it is that a coincidence is God’s way of directing us down here on Earth. I believe we need to be open in order to hear them. One day, hopefully, we all will know the answers, but until then, divine guidance makes sense to me. What do you think? There are no wrong conclusions.

DID?
　

Did she know that time was crucial?
Did she need him to wake up then?
Did she nudge me to call him?
Did she know that I would hear?

He knew her time was close.
He knew he wanted to be there.
He planned on getting up at six.
My call woke him three hours later.

He asked me to phone him back in a while.
He said he was still half asleep.
So I waited an hour and a half to call.
Somehow sooner didn’t feel right.

He was so thankful for my earlier call.
He was thankful that I woke him up,
as he was right there by her side
when she peacefully died thirty minutes later.

She was waiting for him to get up.
She would have waited longer if needed.
He was there for her and her for him.
An exchange of gifts between two souls.

Did she know that time was crucial?
Did she need him to wake up then?
Did she nudge me to call him?
How did she know that I would hear?