AMAZING

"Kelli", thirty-four, has been on hospice for only three months. She suffers from small cell carcinoma that has spread throughout her body. Kelli lives with her husband, "Doug" and their six children ranging in age from three to twelve years.

The family lives in a small, three bedroom apartment. It can be chaotic at times, but somehow it all works. Kelli is very creative and organized about things. During my many visits, I have never seen things cluttered. It may get a bit noisy with everyone talking at once, but the love of the family spills over.

I am amazed by this couple as they are doing all the right things when talking to their children about Kelli's disease and dying. Doug is so attentive, patient and loving with Kelli, even though you know he is exhausted as Kelli is not able to do things to help any longer.

The family's faith is an integral part of their life. They have tremendous support from their religious community. Kelli and Doug pray daily to help get them through these tough times.

Kelli had been doing okay until recently when she started to decline. Within this past week, she has become bed bound, has stopped eating and is sleeping most all of the time. The hospice nurse predicts she has only a few days left to live.

About a week ago, Doug sat down with the children and told them that their mother will likely die within a few weeks. He asked me to come out to meet with all of them as he was worried about how they are coping.

I went out and spent time with each child. Each are coping what one would expect at their age levels, but more importantly each child knows they are loved. During the visit, I also spent time talking alone with Doug. He just amazes me with his calmness, patience and insight. He had high expectations for himself and felt he should be able to do it all alone. Recently, though, he has come to the conclusion that he needs help. He is now getting the needed help and support from his in-laws.


AMAZING


I was sad before I walked into their home.
I knew it was going to be hard.
So much love, so much loss,
although amazing all the same.

She was doing okay for a little while.
It lulled one into thinking it would always be.
But now the decline has come quickly
disrupting the family once again.

He'll be left to raise six children;
not one yet a teen.
A huge challenge for anyone,
but I know he'll be okay.

His strong faith will carry him.
He's handed things over to God.
His religious community is by his side.
He knows he's never alone.

He has an amazing family
with lots of love to share.
Everyone thinking of another
with moistened eyes of anguished tears.

He has the patience of a saint,
but berates himself if he gets mad.
But then he is able to sort things out
and come out a stronger man.

He is just amazing!