MY PRAYER

Nineteen year old "Chris" had been in remission from leukemia for about one year when it suddenly returned with a vengeance one week ago. He was admitted to hospice at that time. When I went out to meet with the family, Chris was unresponsive and very close to death. This is a large, supportive family with a strong Christian faith that sustains them. Many of Chris's friends were present during my visit.

Chris's father, "Ben" said that he and his son had just started to share adult to adult moments. Ben feels that his life will be tortured because of such a tremendous loss. I encouraged him to ask himself what his son would say to him when those moments occured.

Right before I left the home, Ben sat down next to Chris who was lying in his hospital bed. Ben was gently rubbing his son's hand. I asked Ben if he had given Chris permission to go. Ben started to cry and said that he hadn't even thought of doing that. I shared that it was okay if he was unable to do so.

The next morning I called the home to see how things were going for them. Ben shared how Chris had died about thirty minutes after I left. I wasn't yet aware as somehow the hospice nurse's message didn't get on the main reporting line. Ben said that one of his biggest worries was that his son would die and he wouldn't be present. He feared that he would hear from someone else how it went.

Ben stated that right after I left he gave his son permission to go. Chris died thirty minutes later. Ben said that he will never forget me for the rest of his life because of that. He said that I allowed him to be present when his son died. I immediately was speechless and my eyes filled with tears. This poem is my attempt at trying to decipher my connection with an amazing God.

MY PRAYER

Thank you God for using me yesterday.
For guiding me to their home
at that particular time,
on that particular day.

Thank you for giving me the words
that flowed so easily; so clear,
making sure that he would hear You.
You helped him to let go.

He wanted to share this moment.
Not to hear from someone else.
You directly it so perfectly.
You allowed him to be there.

He thanked me and said
he would never forget me.
It makes one humble.
I am in awe,
knowing You chose me in this way
to be a part of something great.

So I thank you God for using me.
I also will never forget.