SAYING GOODBYE

Seventy-nine year old "Betty" has been on hospice for almost one year. She suffers from lung cancer and had been doing quite well. The moment I met her, I fell in love with her. She has spunk and I saw bits of myself in her personality. She handled her dying in a way that I think I may if I were dying.

I visit almost weekly. Not because she needs it, but because she is such a delight to be around. She has slowly been declining and becoming weaker. The nurse on the case informed me that Betty was not doing well at all. She was now in bed and probably starting her dying process.

I called Betty's daughter and asked if I could come out to make a visit. I had to go say goodbye as much for me as for the patient. Betty had been sleeping most of the time, but while I was with her, she was alert and we had a good talk.

I told her that I would never forget her and that she had made an impact on my life. I asked her to give me a wink as she was passing by. She said she would. She had no fears about dying, but did share that her biggest concern were her two daughters. I assured her that I would be following up to make sure that they were getting the support they needed. I spoke about hospice's bereavement follow-up support that is available. Betty died peacefully two days later.

As a hospice worker, we often get attached to our patients and families as our time with them is very intimate and special. Some patients touch us in a very personal way. It is always hard for families to say goodbye, but it can be hard for us to also say goodbye.


SAYING GOODBYE

I heard you weren't doing well.
I heard there was a big decline.
You're now in bed; not getting up.
I needed to come to say goodbye.

Walking into your bedroom was hard
as I knew this would be the final time.
One last time to talk to you.
To tell you how I feel.

I wanted to make sure you knew
what an impact you have made
on those around who love you so.
Your legacy will be profound.

Have a beautiful journey.
I'll see you on the other side.
Give me a wink as you pass by.
But for now
I'll just say
Goodbye.