HIS DOCTRINE

 “Sal”, fifty-eight, was diagnosed with stomach cancer two years ago.  He has gone through so many tests and treatment to no avail.  His doctors have recently told him that his cancer is rapidly aggressive and continues to grow.  Sal recently has undergone radiation and chemotherapy.  Sal shared that the side effects were so unpleasant.  It was then that he chose to stop all treatment. 

Sal so sees himself fully living each of his days as shared, “I am not dying; I am living”.  I so believe him as all of us are alive until we take our last breath.  Sal lives with his wife, “KC”.  They have been together for ten years.  Sal was married before to a woman who had the same name as his current wife.  It was then that he started to call her by her initials.  At one point, I said her full name, and Sal quickly, with laughter, corrected me. 

Sal has an amazing look at life.  He is so positive and loving.  He sees life as a gift and so easily embraces each moment.  In addition, he used a lot of great humor to cope.  He had me laughing so hard.  It was great!!! 

I hope that our paths will cross again.  Sal and KC each had such a beautiful presence about life; about family; about their relationship; about it all.  Sal definitely is a teacher by his words; by his actions; by his love for life.  Way to go, Sal!!!!

HIS DOCTRINE

He is not yet sixty years old,

but has had a long and amazing life.

He came to America at age twelve.

He has grasped the culture; the beliefs.

 

He was diagnosed with cancer two years ago.

He has had radiation and chemotherapy.

The aggressive disease has continued to grow.

He accepts it all, while happily embracing life.

 

He knows it all may end too soon,

but he is living each day fully, with no regrets.

He did speak of appreciation for his family;

his friends; his tremendous support.

 

He had me laughing so hard

as used a lot of sarcastic humor to cope.

When asking about funeral arrangements;

“I plan on donating my body to Science Fiction”.

 

But what truly helps him cope is his spirituality.

His sacred beliefs have eradicated any fears of death.

He so strongly knows his truth about afterlife;

while living and embracing each of his days.

 

“Religion is for those who are afraid

               to go to Hell.

Spirituality is for those who have already

               been there.”

 

His simple doctrine.

               Nothing more.

 

TO PUT DOWN

We received a referral today to admit, “Frank” to hospice secondary to mild dementia.  Frank was diagnosed 9 months ago.  He has been able to live alone with his two Greyhounds until a week ago when he fell and hit his head.  Frank’s friend, “Gina”, lives nearby and has been taking care of him.  She checks in with him daily to help with the two dogs. 

After the recent fall, Gina called 911.  When the paramedics came, Frank refused to go to the hospital.  It was then that Gina realized that he was ready to die.  He has become more confused since the fall; along with having slurred speech.  He is having difficulty completing full sentences.  Because of these increasing needs and changes, Gina is staying with Frank for the duration. 

Frank’s two dogs are the light of his life.  They are 12 years old and each suffers from a seizure disorder.  Frank told Gina yesterday to arrange to have them put down.  Frank is tying up loose ends before he goes.  He is hoping for a quick resolution for his life to be over.  He stopped eating and drinking yesterday hoping that will quicken the pace.  Frank is now bedridden and much weaker. 

The hospice nurse feels he has 1-2 weeks at most.  What amazes me about terminal patients, is that they will tell you their truth.  I love that about them.  There is no feeling or thought that is right or wrong.  We will all cope our own way.  

ADDENDUM:  Prior to hospice making a visit to Frank’s home yesterday, we heard background information that his biggest worry was about his two dogs.  He strongly stated, “I do not want to ever be apart from them.”  I was a bit surprised when we walked into his home and Gina told us that he asked her to put his dogs down.  Gina made an appointment for today at 2pm & 2:30pm to have the two dogs euthanized.  Well Frank was never apart from his dogs as I found out this afternoon that he also died today at 1:57pm.  Amazing and wonderful for Frank as he was there to welcome his two dogs home at Rainbow Bridge.  Rainbow Bridge is where our animals wait for us after their die.  Well, Frank was there, I so believe, to greet them.

TO PUT DOWN 

It was only one week ago

that he hit his head after a fall.

He now is forgetful with slurred speech.

“He can’t string a sentence any longer”.

 

His friend is taking care of him.

She knows he doesn’t have long.

He’s been in bed since yesterday.

He strongly has told her, “I am done!”

 

He loves his two greyhound dogs.

They are the light in his cloudy life.

He presented them in many dog shows

which incredibly they would win.

 

He told her yesterday to put them down.

They are old; they are sick; it is their time.

He doesn’t want to be a burden to her,

but this is one final thing he needs to get done.

 

“I want it to all be over quickly.

Lying here in bed makes it feel so slow.

I’ve stopped drinking; I’ve stopped eating.

               Why is it taking so long?”

 

I walked into his bedroom to say hello.

“We are here to support you in any way.

Just keep us informed of anything you need.

We only need to know how we can help.”

 

He slowly turned his head to look straight at me.

With a soft, but firm voice, he quietly said,

“I don’t quite know how to properly word this,

               but please,

                              just put me down.”

 

HE DID

“Ron”, eighty-four, was diagnosed with colon cancer two years ago.  Ron underwent chemotherapy and radiation to no avail.  The cancer has now spread to his bones and liver.  Ron has a very strong personality and has kept moving forward no matter what. 

Ron lives with his wife, “Debra”.  They have three children, all residing out of the area.  They are all so very supportive as the moment we walked into his home; the entire family was there.  They are all aware and realistic regarding their father’s recent decline and poor prognosis.  It was amazing as all of the family easily verbalizes their emotions, needs and grief with amazing support from each other. 

I initially met the family in the living room.  Ron was lying down in his hospital bed in his bedroom.  I so wanted to meet him as he and I have the same birthday.  Ron so joyfully welcomed me and the nurse into his room.  He immediately touched my heart strings.  Ron and Debra teased each other in such a fun and loving way.  Both of them agreed that humor is what has helped them get through life together.  

Ron asked about having a priest come for The Sacrament of the Sick.  Where normally, I would have called one of our hospice chaplains after the visit to arrange, I felt the urgency in his voice and called our chaplain at that moment.  Twenty minutes later, the priest called to say he would be out at 3pm today. 

Ron died peacefully two days later.  I called Debra today to offer condolences and support.  The first thing she said was to thank me for quickly arranging the priest visit.  It was the best gift of all to Ron.  I told her that it was a perfect example of how hospice so works as a team.  

I was spiritually guided to make that call at that particular time.  I receive messages from above while doing this wonderful hospice work.  They are often very subtle, but I so believe that I am guided from above.  It so truly, although quietly, supports and steers me along each day. 

HE DID

 

He is a very young eighty-four.

He was up on a ladder last week.

Now he is bedbound and weak;

               no longer eating at all.

 

His time is short and he knows it.

He does not want this to drag on.

His biggest concern is his family.

“I don’t want to be a burden”.

 

He was raised a Catholic

with strong Christian beliefs.

He’s been non-practicing for years,

but now has asked strongly for a priest.

 

I heard the urgency in his voice.

I immediately called our chaplain to help out.

Twenty minutes later, the priest called

offering a visit early afternoon.

 

After the visit, he told her,

“I am not scared any more”.

He died peacefully two days later

with his entire family at his side.

 

She said the priest’s visit “settled him down”.

Knowing that, it gave she and the family peace.

It all so happened the way he wished.

He did his life, and his death, his way.

               Yes; absolutely;

                                      he did.