MY HEART SINGS

The moment I became a social worker, I knew death and dying was my calling. I have never been afraid to die, although would never want to become dependent. I worked for over 13 years in a hospital emergency room. One was often faced with sudden death. I would meet up with the families seeing great grief on their faces. I would tell them, "I am here for as long as you need me to be." I would then quite often see the subtle relief on their faces.

Hospice also deals with death, but most often it is not so sudden. Most patients and families have time to process their experience. As a hospice Social Worker, we walk in and validate what the patient and family are saying. I believe the best gift a social worker has is "Active listening." We can paraphrase back what we heard while validating one's emotions and grief.

Hospice draws folks who have huge hearts for this type of work. One cannot fake "heart" and families know we are sincere. We hear amazingly, "Thank you so much" often which is what keeps us coming back again and again.

After I did the admission over the phone today, I felt those same rewards. It is a bit difficult not being able to be there in person, but due to Corona Virus crisis, all of us need to be safe. I am so thankful to be able to do hospice work, which to me, is farthest from work anything can be.


MY HEART SINGS　

I left work three days ago
as guided by those politicians in charge
to keep all of us safe from each other
by staying home as "Shelter-in-Place."

The first day was hard
as I didn't know quite where to start.
I did a little work making phone calls
plus checking in with my co-workers
making sure they are all doing okay.

Facilities are keeping staff and families away
except those whom they define as "essential".
Social workers can accomplish much on the phone,
even though it always is better face-to-face.

I did an admission today over the phone.
The family and patient so understand why.
They so appreciated the call and support.
It left me with great satisfaction and humbling rewards.

Hospice work is so not work.
I am blessed to play such a part.
It makes my day so fulfilling.
It truly does make
          my heart sing. 

CORONA VIRUS

The entire world has been watching the journey of this deadly virus. We all heard about the beginning of the pandemic in China. I, probably along with many others, did not, at that time, think about it reaching America.

Folks are trying so hard to be prepared and safe, but so many are going overboard by emptying out store shelves etc. There will not be a food shortage, but people are filling up their shopping carts to the brim.

Working in the medical field my entire career has taught me about Universal Precautions. Universal Precautions is all about prevention of infection and hand washing etc. It is a very successful technique that works so well.

I started a self-quarantine today with some resistance. I do not want to be home for a minimum of two weeks, but my managers and co-workers are so supportive. Being in the age category that is at the highest risk, it probably is the correct step to take at this time. I am such an independent soul and, if I had my way, I would still be at work. Although that likely is not the best option.

Hopefully, we all will look back at this time with some jokes and laughs. I wish the best for each one of us. All, please be safe and stay calm.


CORONA VIRUS

We all did hear about the Corona Virus
a few weeks before it came upon our shores.
It still is such a shocking surprise
how it has completely impacted us all.

They are closing borders, counties and towns;
trying to keep all of us so safe.
Dramatic daily changes are overwhelming as
closing of restaurants, schools, theaters and more.

They say it is a pandemic
making us all want to be prepared.
Wash your hands, be cautious,
but craziness has exploded all around.

Folks are emptying store shelves quickly
buying toilet paper, hand clearer and more.
Raising the bar along with the hype,
I just want to say, "Please all, just calm down."

I initiated a self-quarantine today
with a little, loving pressure from my two sons.
I too, am trying to do what is best,
but it is so hard just to stay at home.

"And this too, shall pass",
is a famous, truthful quote.
I too, am waiting for this all to be over
and we are all back to our precious normal,
          once again.

　

　

GROWING OLD

I visited "Betty" today. Betty is a ninety-seven year old who recently moved into a Residential Care Facility which offers twenty-four hour care. Betty had been living alone in her home until two months ago when she suddenly became so weak that she could not walk.

Betty was hospitalized where it was discovered that her kidneys and heart were slowly becoming weaker and not functioning at a normal level. To Betty, this all happened so quickly. She is not questioning why this is happening, but how did this happen. She was so honest and truthful in her statements.

She had such a magnetic personality. She was so true to who she was, which made her shine. I have always loved "Straight shooters". They never say things that they think others want to hear. Betty expressed her true self. That made me love her more.

It made me realize that, yes, her body may be growing old, but her spirit will never grow old. She is a wise teacher to us all. It was an honor to meet her. I have met old people at thirty years of age and I have also been blessed to meet young Betty at ninety-seven years old.


GROWING OLD　

She'll be ninety-eight in a few weeks.
She talks about her long and wonderful life.
How she loves to garden; "Pulling those weeds";
while living alone and managing quite well.

All that changed just two months ago.
It was sudden; it all happened so fast.
Her heart and kidneys were slowing down;
leaving her weak and needing a lot of help.

She now lives in a Senior Facility
where she receives twenty-four hour care;
requiring assistance with all of her needs;
help with showers, getting dressed and meals too.

Upon meeting her today, I was immediately captivated.
Charmed by her zest for life; her honesty; her magnetism.
Attempting to process these past few months.
            Expressing her truthful words.

She denied any fears of what was happening to her.
She has no thoughts about God or Heaven,
but what is so important to her is;
"Being a good person. Helping others."

"I don't feel sick. I feel like I always have.
How did it happen so quickly? I feel so normal."
Her body may be aging; becoming frail,
but her true spirit; her love for life is amazing.
         She will never, ever grow old.       
　

　
　

　　

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A DEEP LOSS

Over the past several years, our hospice has been growing rapidly. We have added a Palliative Care Program along with an Adult Day Care program. During the course of this expansion, our manager was given more and more responsibility. She was doing work that was more than one person could easily complete.

One could tell she was stressed at times due to the high demands she had on her plate, but she always would state such love and appreciation for all that we would do. In addition to adding other elements to our hospice and palliative care program, the caseload has increased, which has impacted all of us.

She took a leave from work a few weeks ago. It was probably the best thing she could have done to take care of herself. Hopefully it gave her time to reflect and process what was happening in her life. Yesterday, she let us all know that she was leaving. I wish her the best in her new position. We all will continue to stay in touch with her as, along with being our manager, she also is a true friend.

Grief comes with any type of loss. Yes death is loss, but it can appear in so many other ways. Maybe in time, she can laugh about all of this and realize it was the best thing that happened as it directed her to where she needed to go. I wish her all the best.


A DEEP LOSS　

I spoke with her a week ago.
She told me she was looking.
Looking for a fresh position; a new change,
hoping to find where she totally belongs.

She informed us all yesterday
that she wouldn't be coming back.
It was shocking; although I wasn't surprised.
I so wish her absolute happiness.

She was an amazing manager.
She always appreciated everything we all did.
Unconditionally while strongly valuing us
just for walking through the office's front door.

She had so much on her plate.
Enough responsibility for more than two.
She never complained, but worked so hard,
while supporting us all through and through.

Strong sadness has engulfed all of us.
We all are grieving; expressing our pain.
But, in the end, it may be the best for her.
One has to experience down at times to appreciate up.

I hope she finds her way.
We all wish her the very best.
But in the end, for all of us it still is such
          A deep loss. Such a deep loss.


　

MEANT TO MEET

I went out to meet, "Joseph", a ninety-eight year old gentleman suffering from cardiac disease. Joseph lives with his wife, "Hanna". They have four children, who, unfortunately all live out of state. Joseph and Hanna have a tremendous group of friends who visit daily to support the couple.

Hanna and Joseph have been married sixty-two years. When I asked Hanna how the two of them met, she told me this most amazing story. It is such a perfect example of "Truth is stranger than fiction." I loved the story as it was such an amazing example of how the two of them were so meant to meet.

I wasn't able to talk to Joseph as he was in a deep sleep during my visit, but it was such a pleasure to spend time with Hanna. She is at peace about her husband's current status, rapid decline and his poor prognosis. She spoke about the sadness of losing him, but so lovingly added, "He's had such a good life. We both have been so blessed." I know Hanna will be okay because of the tremendous love of so many supportive friends. I so hope our paths do cross again.


MEANT TO MEET　

He is close to ninety-nine years old.
His health has declined so rapidly.
He is extremely weak and needs a lot of help;
but still will smile while telling her, "I love you."

He was nine years old when she was born;
living in two separate countries miles apart.
He in Germany; she in Denmark;
but the two of them were so meant to meet.

When she was seven, her family moved to Germany.
She lived around the corner from him.
They were both Jewish, the Nazi's so cared
so both families had to rapidly move away.

Years later she was in a New York Gallery.
By happenstance; so was he.
They both walked outside at the same time
starting up their lifelong conversation.

They were so surprised that they were neighbors in Germany.
Their paths should have so easily crossed.
But then, he was sixteen; she only seven.
Smiling, she adds, "I wouldn't have been interested."

Their sixty-third wedding anniversary is soon approaching.
Living a block away; then moving over six thousand miles west.
On a Sunday afternoon outside a New York art gallery;
          yes, they were meant to meet.