FROM ABOVE

The hospice nurse and I went out to admit, "Mona", ninety-one, to our hospice program. Mona suffers from Alzheimer's and has had a recent decline of becoming more confused and weaker. We were scheduled to meet up with Mona's three daughters. Two of the daughters only wanted information about hospice as didn't feel Mom was quite ready to be admitted. The third, and youngest daughter, "Bonnie", felt quite the opposite and wanted hospice's support.

The five of us sat in a meeting room at the Skilled Nursing Facility where mom was a patient. While the hospice nurse and I were explaining our program, the one daughter, "Karen", kept interjecting strongly how she only wanted this to be informational and not an admission visit. While she spoke, her two sisters kept quiet and allowed her to vent her strong resistance.

Once it was decided that it was only an informational visit, we all walked to mom's room at the facility. Bonnie stopped outside in the hallway and started to cry. While the others all walked into the room, I stayed with Bonnie as she started to share her struggles with her family. I so strongly felt the purpose of this visit was for me to support Bonnie.

It is such a strong example to me that I am so guided from above as I am led to be where I need to be. I used the proper words for Bonnie to feel support. I so strongly feel that I do not do this work alone. I am so raised by the support of my spiritual beings. They so amazingly guide me to whom I am today.


FROM ABOVE　

We met up with the three daughters
to educate them about our hospice support.
Two of them weren't quite sure for us to be involved,
while the other so strongly felt it was time.

Mom had been declining for months.
She was slowly getting weaker and more confused.
We spoke about hospice's goals of comfort care
along with twenty-four hour support.

Her two sisters strongly felt, "Not yet",
while she quietly went along.
We all then walked to mom's room,
while I and the one daughter stopped by the door.

She started to cry so strongly,
sharing memories of how she never fit in.
How she has a strong faith, whereas her family does not
while softly adding how her mother was "Always so mean."

I counseled her and offered support,
knowing I was directed to be there today just for her.
I felt I was guided from above when she said,
          "You have helped me so very much."

Spirituality comes from my loved ones above.
They guide me to be where I need to be;
helping me to use the proper words at the right time.
They raise me higher than I ever could go on my own.

I truly know and always do believe that
          I never, ever work alone.

A MOMENT

　

My cousin Jack died from Lou Gehrig's Disease six months ago. His disease progressed rapidly as he died two and a half months after his diagnosis. It was so difficult seeing him decline so quickly, but, in the end, it likely was best for him for it to be over.

My dad died fifteen years ago after a short bout with cancer. My dad lived to be 94 years of age, which is more than many of us ever get; but still, it was much too soon. Age does not matter when it is someone you love.

Both Jack and my dad had great senses of humor and I was so very close to both of them. When we all got together there was always a lot of joking around and laughter. The two of them loved each other so deeply. It was wonderful. I know that they are together again. That thought fills me with such beautiful peace.

I was driving to a patient's home this afternoon. The route drove me past the town where Jack lived. Grief hit me so suddenly and so hard. I was attempting to process my thoughts when the song "Do You Realize" came on the radio. That melody has always had the perfect words for me to sing to my dad. I always know my dad is near me when I hear it.

I had a thought today that our loved ones never truly leave us. When we think about them and feel their presence, they are truly right by our side. The sadness of missing both of them hits strong, but gratitude also comes knowing they were in my life in the physical world and they are also in my life in the spiritual world. I so strongly believe that we all will be truly and fully together; yet again one day.


A MOMENT　

While driving in my car early this afternoon
it happened without warning.
A moment of sadness suddenly struck
while I was passing by where you used to live.

My eyes quickly filled with tears.
My heart gripped with sorrow
mourning the loss; without you here.
"Jack; you always would make me laugh."

A few miles later, that special song came on the radio.
It always immediately connects me to my dad.
Those perfect words; that spiritual understanding.
A reminder to me that he is always around with his love.

Another strong moment of sadness,
even though it's been fifteen years.
"I miss your unconditional love;
          I miss your jokes."

You and Jack were always so close.
I so know you two are forever together
telling me to continue to laugh; to enjoy life.
That insight gives me pure peace.

Thoughts of the two of you bring a smile
as humor was always a common theme.
You both are teaching me to continue to laugh
as that is what life, and hopefully death, is all about.

I so miss both of you and truly know that
sadness will hit again I am sure,
but hopefully for only a moment;
          for just one moment.
 

HER DREAMS

I met ninety-nine year old "Margaret" today. She touched me from the start. She sat so upright in her recliner chair as we walked into her home; looking regal while sitting up so straight. Her humor immediately shown through. She'd laugh so hard at herself. Her laugh was contagious which made us all laugh as well. She was such a delight.

Margaret earned her bachelors degree from Stanford University in 1942. She had no fears of not completing her goal of a teaching degree. She taught the prisoners in the Internment Camps during WWII. She never had doubts of not achieving her goals.

She took a break from teaching while raising her five children. She set the same high standards for them while giving them the same courage she had for her success; embracing them with love and maintainable goals.

All of her children graduated from college. Three are College Professors; following their mother's path; while the other two created their own personal paths of success. Margaret amazed me as doubts and not succeeding were never in her thoughts. Now that she is dying, she wants to be able to manage that as well. This may be the first time she will learn to just let go and allow her life to flow its natural path. I wish her well.

 HER DREAMS　

She'll be ninety-nine in a few weeks.
She's had a long, amazing life.
A trail blazer from the beginning.
Nothing has ever stopped her
          from following her dreams.

She attended college in the 1940's
where few other women ever dared.
Earning a teaching degree; making a difference.
Her strong ambition easing her way.

She taught high school for years
while raising her five children her way.
She was strict with high expectations
teaching them to follow their special dreams.

Somehow she always knew how to succeed.
She naturally understood which way to turn.
It never mattered what society expected;
nothing ever stopped her from reaching her goal.

Now her heart is failing.
She is slowly winding down.
She is weak, having trouble walking;
spending her days quietly in her chair.

Throughout her life, the answers came easy.
She always knew which way to turn.
Now, for the first time, there is no solution in sight.
          "I just don't know how to die."

SACRED WORDS

“Kristin”, sixty-four, was diagnosed with lung disease many years ago. She was able to function and continue her life as she wished. It all changed six months ago when she shared that her decline started to begin. She gets short of breath so easily now; even when talking. She needs oxygen at all times in order to help her catch her breath.

Kristin has a strong family and friend support system. Her people are rallying and helping her so much physically and emotionally. What amazed me about Kristin was her use of words. She had the skill of articulating so perfectly her emotions regarding her illness and the impact on her emotionally and physically.

She had a strong spiritually belief system and was able to verbalize so naturally her emotions and expectations about afterlife. I felt honored to have met her as she, to me, felt like a supreme being. Her words; her spirit gifted her as a heavenly teacher here on Earth.


SACRED WORDS

She's been ill for many years,
but easily was able to carry on.
These past six months, though,
have been difficult; have been hard;
as her decline is now coming on strong.

She's always been there for others.
She's the one they counted on for support.
Now the shoe is on the other foot.
She's trying to figure it all out.

She spoke openly and honestly to us
about her emotions; her devout beliefs.
How spirituality has always been there
to help her cope through life's tough times.

"Anxiety comes when I struggle to breath,
as I am strongly feeling the losses.
My heart has opened to the process.
I trust my beliefs; I am ready to go."

She spoke about a close friend's death
when her heart overflowed with joy.
"It was so full; almost painful
where beautifully hidden below it all
          was pure love."

She expressed normal fears; normal sorrows.
She was so receptive in recognizing new emotions.
But the most amazing gift of all
was how she beautifully knew how to articulate it all.with her pure and amazingly divine
          Sacred Words.