I have done hospice work for over fifteen years. I am educated and trained on counseling and supporting patients and families. I love being on this side of the desk. It is so amazingly rewarding.
Sadly my friend Amye was diagnosed with cancer eight months ago. She has been through treatment and surgery, even though from the initial diagnosis, the doctor told her there is no cure, only treatment. She is amazing as is teaching me so much about life and death by sharing her heart and soul with me.
I am now on the other side of the desk; on the other side of the fence. It is a profoundly challenging experience. Amye lives about forty-five minutes away from me. I visit her twice a week. Before each visit, I struggle as I want to say and do the right things. I want to fix it and make her cancer go away. I want to do all that I know cannot be done.
The beautiful part about all of this, is Amye's trust in me by her words. It is so humbling to me. In addition, I have an amazing support network of family, friends and co-workers. Small gestures are profound to me. I am surrounded by so much love, I am truly blessed.
Thank you Amye for your gifts to me. Thank you co-workers and friends for allowing me to be where I am; and thank you dear family for just loving me. In all this sadness, beauty abounds.
ON THE OTHER SIDE
I have worked hospice for years.
I have counseled, supported,
validated and normalized
strong emotions with compelling fears.
I am now on the other side.
My dear friend was admitted to hospice.
Her recent decline is sudden.
It may be just weeks.
I visit her every three days or so.
I don't know what to say.
I truly don't know what to do.
I want to fix it; to make it go away.
I sit with her and we talk.
She is baring her soul to me.
It is humbling, but beautiful.
It helps both of us to understand.
In her dying process,
she is showing me spirituality.
Life is all about love,
but so is death.
Through her struggle, blessings thrive.
The support I am receiving is profound.
It melts my heart while bringing tears.
It helps me to easily embrace her more.
Throughout her struggle and decline,
there is an abundance of beauty; of love.
Throughout it all though, I can honestly say,
"I don't believe it will ever be effortless
for anyone when
On the other side."
Saturday, July 21, 2018
Saturday, July 14, 2018
TEACHER
"Donald," fifty-five, was diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy over twenty years ago. He had only been married one year when the doctor told him the news. His wife, "Shelly" has been a loving and devoted wife. Just seeing the two of them together, one sees the true love and devotion between them.
Donald was very soft spoken due to weakness. The disease is now attacking his organs making it hard to breathe for him. He is hardly eating much at all as also has difficulty swallowing. Shelly says that Donald has always had a positive, uplifting personality. Even through all of his health challenges, Donald continues to have his upbeat attitude, along with some sarcastic humor.
I instantly felt a strong connection to him. He was so full of peace, grace and love. It appeared he had all of the answers to life and accepted what each day brought as a gift. I would love to be able to meet up with Donald on a daily basis in order to journal his words and beliefs. He is, and will always be, an amazing teacher. Go in peace, Donald.
TEACHER
The moment we walked in,
he instantly smiled and softly said, "Hi."
He was sitting in his electric wheelchair
with his hands helplessly by his side.
He was diagnosed twenty years ago,
never letting it get him down.
He lives his life the only way he knows;
loving his family with a positive attitude.
He has no fears about dying saying,
"Every day is a new day."
His biggest regard is his family though,
"Knowing they are living their lives".
He was so at peace.
His heart just glowed.
Gentleness, kindness, beauty.
He so gracefully had it all.
He was a fifth grade teacher,
and continues to teach today.
He taught me to cherish this moment
as that is all that we truly have.
His life is about love; about appreciation;
but the best gift of all will be his legacy.
He truly has a natural ability
to be an amazing
Teacher.
Donald was very soft spoken due to weakness. The disease is now attacking his organs making it hard to breathe for him. He is hardly eating much at all as also has difficulty swallowing. Shelly says that Donald has always had a positive, uplifting personality. Even through all of his health challenges, Donald continues to have his upbeat attitude, along with some sarcastic humor.
I instantly felt a strong connection to him. He was so full of peace, grace and love. It appeared he had all of the answers to life and accepted what each day brought as a gift. I would love to be able to meet up with Donald on a daily basis in order to journal his words and beliefs. He is, and will always be, an amazing teacher. Go in peace, Donald.
TEACHER
The moment we walked in,
he instantly smiled and softly said, "Hi."
He was sitting in his electric wheelchair
with his hands helplessly by his side.
He was diagnosed twenty years ago,
never letting it get him down.
He lives his life the only way he knows;
loving his family with a positive attitude.
He has no fears about dying saying,
"Every day is a new day."
His biggest regard is his family though,
"Knowing they are living their lives".
He was so at peace.
His heart just glowed.
Gentleness, kindness, beauty.
He so gracefully had it all.
He was a fifth grade teacher,
and continues to teach today.
He taught me to cherish this moment
as that is all that we truly have.
His life is about love; about appreciation;
but the best gift of all will be his legacy.
He truly has a natural ability
to be an amazing
Teacher.
Sunday, July 8, 2018
TOMATO FARMER
The hospice nurse and I admitted, "Will", ninety-seven to our hospice program today. Will had been hospitalized from a fall last month. He was now in a skilled nursing home as no longer able to return home. Will never married and has no family or children. Will has a very large extended group of true friends who love him as much as he loves them.
Will's closest friend, "Brenda", is very involved in his care and daily needs. The hospice nurse and I went out to meet with Will and Brenda. Will asked that we speak with Brenda without him as he was so weak. The three of us went to a meeting room at the facility to educate Brenda about hospice support and philosophy.
Brenda was about thirty years younger than Will, but lovingly shared that he always called her "Sweetheart". Brenda lived on the farm next to Will's Tomato Farm. After we were done with all of the paperwork, we went back to Will's room. I wanted to ask if he had any questions, fears or concerns. It was then when he shared how appreciative he has been of his life, "I've had a good life." I asked him about tomato farming. His face totally lit up and he eagerly shared his life as a tomato farmer.
Will's upbeat attitude helped him throughout his life in such a positive, loving way. "You are an inspiration, Will. I am so blessed to have met you!"
TOMATO FARMER
He's never been married.
He has no kids.
No family to call his own.
He has lived ninety-seven
autonomous years.
He is very friendly.
He loves to socialize.
He' s been a lifelong tomato farmer.
Living his passion; his dream.
He took a fall one month ago.
He was down and alone for half a day.
Not able to receive any help
until a friend stopped by just to say hi.
I asked him about farming tomatoes.
His eyes lit up while sharing his stories.
His passion and love was running his farm.
He was excited to disclose it all.
He's always been in charge of his life.
Now, that control is gone.
He is ready for it to be over,
although so thankful for the life he has had.
"I've had a good life.
I have no regrets.
It is now my time to go.
I am not afraid.
I am done."
Will's closest friend, "Brenda", is very involved in his care and daily needs. The hospice nurse and I went out to meet with Will and Brenda. Will asked that we speak with Brenda without him as he was so weak. The three of us went to a meeting room at the facility to educate Brenda about hospice support and philosophy.
Brenda was about thirty years younger than Will, but lovingly shared that he always called her "Sweetheart". Brenda lived on the farm next to Will's Tomato Farm. After we were done with all of the paperwork, we went back to Will's room. I wanted to ask if he had any questions, fears or concerns. It was then when he shared how appreciative he has been of his life, "I've had a good life." I asked him about tomato farming. His face totally lit up and he eagerly shared his life as a tomato farmer.
Will's upbeat attitude helped him throughout his life in such a positive, loving way. "You are an inspiration, Will. I am so blessed to have met you!"
TOMATO FARMER
He's never been married.
He has no kids.
No family to call his own.
He has lived ninety-seven
autonomous years.
He is very friendly.
He loves to socialize.
He' s been a lifelong tomato farmer.
Living his passion; his dream.
He took a fall one month ago.
He was down and alone for half a day.
Not able to receive any help
until a friend stopped by just to say hi.
I asked him about farming tomatoes.
His eyes lit up while sharing his stories.
His passion and love was running his farm.
He was excited to disclose it all.
He's always been in charge of his life.
Now, that control is gone.
He is ready for it to be over,
although so thankful for the life he has had.
"I've had a good life.
I have no regrets.
It is now my time to go.
I am not afraid.
I am done."
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