LOVE

My work involves a lot of stressful times that families need to share. I see tears and anguish, but most of all, there is laughter and a lot of love. Cream rises to the top as does love. Love is what gets folks through those tough times as it lets them know they are never alone.

2016 has given a lot of folks I know a lot of medical challenges. I myself, was not immune as I too had a medical challenge during this year. What helped me cope was all of those in my life who care and whom I care about. In the end, that is what I was able to embrace to help me through some tough moments.

I was talking with a co-worker today, who herself has struggled with a serious illness. We were talking about why both of us were presented with these critical diagnoses. I continued to process our conversation for the rest of today. The best any of us can do is to show kindness and love towards another. What one gives out, always returns a thousand-fold. Maybe life isn't all that complicated. One day, I believe, all of us will learn what it is all about.


LOVE

I have done hospice work for years
and I still don't understand why
some people have to suffer so.
What is it
          all about?

One thing is in abundance though.
It is consistent to those who care.
Love comforts these families.
It helps them to laugh and also to cry.

Each day I hear so many stories,
but I also see unconditional love.
They need to share their life with you
along with tears and lots of laughter.

Maybe it is not that complicated.
Maybe life is just a simple thing.
Love and be loved
and take notice of it
                   all around.


 

MY SMALL TOWN

I grew up in a small town south of San Francisco. I attended grammar school and high school there. When I was twenty-three, I moved to another town a few miles south.

I now live about ninety miles north and seldom run into anyone from my small town. I am always so surprised when I do. It always feels like I have met a kindred spirit. I meet so many people doing my work, but seldom ask someone where they grew up. Quite often, patients and families tell their family stories and will share where they grew up. More often than not, it is another state.

I had two admissions today; one in the morning and one early afternoon. Both women lived in the same facility, although in totally separate areas from each other. Both of these women were quite elderly and did not sit in on the Admission Visit. In the morning visit, I met with the patient's son, "Will", and his mother-in-law, "Sylvia". The two of them started to share the patient's history and did some life review.

Sylvia was near the patient's age and started to share some of her life history. She started to talk about places that I knew so well from growing up. It was them that I asked her where did she grow up. The moment we found out we grew up in the same town, we started sharing places we knew and loved. We both agreed that it felt like we were kindred spirits from having a similar background.

During the afternoon visit, I met with the patient's daughter, "Diana", in a sitting room. Diana's mom has dementia so it was best for us to meet in a conference room. Diana, too, started to share her family's history and life. She, like Sylvia, started to share stories about areas that I was so familiar with. So once again, I had to ask where did she grow up. Surprisingly, she also answered my small town.

With Sylvia and Diana, we could not connect any dots, as both were older than I and we all went to different schools. I still wouldn't have been surprised, if we had more time, that we would have found a connection. All I can say is, what an amazing coincidence!!


MY SMALL TOWN

I grew up in a small town
about ninety miles south of here.
I seldom run into anyone from there
and am always surprised when I do.

I admitted two patients to hospice today.
Both reside in the same facility,
although one in Assisted Living;
while the other in Memory Care.

Seldom do I ask anyone where they grew up,
but in both of these visits the question came up.
The adult children were talking about the early years.
Sharing their mother's life events and experiences.

Each child shared places that I knew about.
Places that were close to where I grew up.
So I just had to ask each of them,
"Where did you grow up?"

To my shock and surprise,
both answered the same.
They were raised the same place I was,
living about one mile from me.

We are different ages
and went to different schools,
but had one major thing in common;
             My small town. 

A GIRLFRIEND

Each person we meet along our life's journey, impacts us in a small or big way. I have always been blessed with a wonderful family and supportive friends. Of those, one of my most amazing gifts is having kindred spirits around. Hence; a girlfriend.

A woman can talk to another woman with ease and comfort knowing that their girlfriend understands, knows and cares. There is no judgment, just compassion and love.

"Janice", who is grieving the recent decline of her elderly father, is a perfect example of the importance of a supportive girlfriend. Janice and I were discussing her grief and what helps her cope, when she stated, "My life is full of stressors." Janice shared some examples of her stresses. Most were associated with how she didn't do something in a perfect way as had to do with the tasks needed to reach a certain goal. She was particularly hard on herself.

Janice appeared anxious and stressed throughout most of our visit. Toward the end of our time together though, Janice started talking about her girlfriend whom she met in high school. Her entire persona changed to comfort while she shared how her friend supported her. Janice stated, "It feels so good just to talk with her." It is Janice's friend who will who will be there for her throughout her father's disease process and decline.

I have a magnet on my refrigerator that says, "There is nothing better than a girlfriend, except a girlfriend with chocolate." That magnet was given to me by a dear friend who also understands the importance of a good girlfriend.


A GIRLFRIEND

I meet a lot of women in my work.
Exceptional souls with distinctive personalities.
But one thing, I do believe, most do agree,
"There is nothing better than a girlfriend."

Our girlfriends listen to us because they care.
They understand what we are feeling.
Good or bad, we can speak our true minds.
Their unconditional love is forever more.

Her elderly dad is weak and getting more confused.
She knows he gets good care from the staff,
but it still is hard to see his decline.
Who he was has been gone for a long time.

She has a nervous personality,
but I was still a bit surprised,
when I asked her how she copes,
she knowingly replied,
             "I cope by being anxious."

There is one thing though that is working well.
A high school buddy she has known for years.
"Talking with her helps me so much.
She understands where I am coming from."

Another perfect example
of what we ladies do all agree;
"There is nothing better
             than a girlfriend!" 

THE LIGHT

During this month of December, our hospice chaplains are presenting to staff different beliefs, customs and religions that are celebrated throughout the world. One of the chaplains came to me to write a poem about the importance of one of these rituals; the Winter Solstice, and Yalda Night. Part of the Yalda Night includes the reading of poetry. December 21st, being the shortest day of the year, and Yalda Night are celebrated concurrently. Both cultures celebrate the importance of light.

Per his request to write a poem, I came home tonight and wrote a poem about Light. I will give him a copy tomorrow and will be honored to read it to the staff on December 21st. What an honor.


THE LIGHT

Cultures worldwide honor the light
on Winter Solstice, Yalda Night and Yule.
Celebrating hues of dawn and the glow of life
on the longest, darkest night of the year.

The symbolic rituals are alive in December,
but we all acknowledge that light year round.
It is subtle and we may not quickly notice,
but the presence of light is powerful and strong.

We notice the light in another's eyes.
The light that shines in one's heart.
Filling one's cup with positive thoughts.
Energy of goodness, peace and pure love.

At the end of one's life we say, "Go to the light.
They are waiting for you with open arms.
We will miss you, but it is your time.
The light will guide your way."

So keep celebrating as long as you can.
The light is everything good.
Centuries of rituals have kept the light strong.
The darkness will always crumble
as nothing is as powerful as
                                   "The Light."