A PRACTICAL GAL

Thirty-six year old, "Emily", was diagnosed with cancer several years ago. Three weeks ago, she was hospitalized due to a rapid decline. Emily's doctors told her, at that time, that the treatment was no longer working and that there was no further treatment options available. Emily's roommate of eight years, told her not to come back home as she could not handle what was happening. Emily thought at the time, "I have no place to die." Fortunately, Emily has many friends. One friend offered her home to Emily and was available to care for her as well.

The hospice nurse and I went out to admit Emily to our program. Emily was so straight forward and matter-of-fact. She shared some stories of her life about her travels and other adventures. She had no regrets as said she has had a full life. She said she is not ready to leave her loved ones, but accepts her situation.

She is an amazing thirty-seven year old. It is obvious that she packed a full life in those three and a half decades. She has accepted what is happening and is dealing with things in a very practical way. She is a perfect example of people dying the way they live. I wish her well.

Addendum: Emily got her wish and died one week before Christmas.


A PRACTICAL GAL

　
She is matter of fact and practical.
She handles things as they come.
Willingly accepting what life presents.
She has always been this way.

Once her cancer reappeared,
her roommate said don't come back.
The doctors give her little hope,
"I need a place to die."

She is mature beyond her thirty-six years.
She says her life has been full.
Her only fear is leaving her loved ones.
She's not sure about afterlife.

She is declining daily.
She told us she is ready to go.
She likely will get her wish,
"I want to die before Christmas".

She'll die the way she lived;
on her terms and in her time.
Accepting, no-nonsense, matter-of-fact.
She truly is,
         a practical gal. 

THE CAT

"Glenda", ninety years old, suffered from end stage Alzheimer's Disease. Glenda had lived in a Skilled Nursing Facility for over a year as needed help with all of her daily activities. The week before she was admitted to hospice, Glenda had taken a dramatic decline to where she was bedridden and had stopped eating.

The nurse and I met with Glenda's daughter, "Janice" at the facility. Glenda had been in a three bed ward for the past year. The day we admitted Glenda to hospice, she was unresponsive and had not eaten for a week. The staff moved Glenda to a private room as they, along with her family and hospice, thought she would die within hours.

All was surprised that, at a week later, Glenda was still alive. Janice told hospice that her mother had always loved cats. She added that her mother's final wish was to have a cat by her side when she took her final breath.

The nursing home staff had attempted to locate a cat to fulfill Glenda's wish, to no avail. It was then that the hospice social worker, assigned to Glenda's case, arranged for one of our hospice nurses to visit Glenda with one of her cats. It gave all of us such a wonderful feeling to have been a part of someone's final wish.


THE CAT

She lay there so still.
We could not wake her up.
She hasn't eaten for a week.
We thought hours to a day at most.

The family was holding vigil,
knowing her time was short.
But she held on and continued to breath
as hours; then a few days; a week did pass.

Her daughter said she unconditionally loved cats.
She always had two or three around.
Her last wish was to have a cat by her side
when she took her final breath.

A staff member brought out her own cat.
She placed it by the patient's side.
She maneuvered her hand to stroke the cat.
The cat purred, loving the attention.

She must have felt the cat's presence.
She must have heard him purr.
As hours later, she was gone.
Her final wish fulfilled;
allowing her
          to peacefully
                           let go.  

 

THE UNIVERSE

"Edith", eighty years ago, suffers from end stage lung disease. Edith lives with her daughter, "Kristi". Edith was just released from the hospital today. She was adamant about wanting to go home. Edith is on continuous oxygen and struggles with her breathing.

In addition, Edith is bedridden and dependent with all of her activities of daily living. She has a strong spiritual belief of being one with the universe. Edith has no quality of life and immediately told us when we walked into her room, "I am done."

She seemed so happy that it is her time to go. Her face would light up when talking about her beliefs of being one with the universe. Kristi would stand by quietly and did not say much at all, although she looked on the verge of tears. Kristi was struggling with letting her mother go, while her mother couldn't wait to get to the other side.

With hospice's support, hopefully in time, Kristi can come to terms with her mother's wish to go. It is such a struggle for most of us. It is hard to understand what Edith is going through as we all just walk this walk one time. I wish them both peace.


THE UNIVERSE
　
She was lying there so quietly
when we walked into her bedroom.
She immediately informed us,
"It's my time. I am done."

She wanted to make sure we understood.
Dying is just a part of life.
She has no fears or regrets.
She is ready to move on.

"I am ready to go.
It may be left, it may be right.
I am not sure which way,
but I know that I will be a part
of the Universe."

Her beliefs give her comfort.
Her beliefs give her peace.
She is steadfast in her knowing
what's to come on the other side.

Her daughter stands by so quietly.
Her mother's words bringing sudden tears.
She needs a little more time
before handing her mother off
         to the Universe. 

ANGELS AND SPIRITS

"Albert", eighty-nine, has been a spiritual man his entire life. Albert and his wife, "Doris", have been married for sixty-two years. Albert suffers from end stage cardiac disease. Doris is caring for him with the help of their two adult children.

Albert has been in a decline for several weeks to where now he is bedridden, eating very little and needing help with all of his needs. He is very hard of hearing and, due to extreme weakness, his voice is extremely low, making conversation very difficult.

We went out to admit Albert to our hospice program today. As part of my introduction to our services, often folks want to know what to expect at the end of life. As I was talking about what to expect, I mentioned how some patients will see spirits of loved ones or angels. It is a very natural and normal experience for the patient. It typically gives comfort to the patient and their family members. It was then that Doris shared her story about what Albert had told her a few days prior.

Doris feels what so many of our family members feel. They don't want their loved one to die, but aware that there is no quality of life. Doris's love for Albert is allowing her to release him. After sixty-two years, their love is that strong.

ADDENDUM: Albert died peacefully four days before his 90th birthday.


ANGELS AND SPIRITS
　
His 90th birthday is two weeks away.
He wants to live until then.
He'll hold on as long as he can;
then he'll be ready to let go.

He told his family he is done.
He has no fears about what's next.
His deep faith gives him strength.
He knows he'll be just fine.

She struggles with letting him go,
but knows it's for the best.
He can only lie their quietly.
Not able to do much else.

We spoke about the end of life.
We spoke about what to expect.
Some folks see angels or spirits.
A natural phenomenon, giving comfort.

She then shared what he had told her.
How he saw an angel standing at the end of his bed.
The angel told him, "It won't be long;"
giving him peace; giving her comfort,
even though some tears did fall.