I went out to open “Nick”, seventy-five, to hospice. Nick suffers from brain cancer and is confused. He is not aware of his limitations and gets frustrated when family “fuss” on him. He feels he is able to manage many of his needs alone. Nick uses a walker to ambulate, but is very wobbly on his feet. He cannot get up from a sitting position alone and is dependent with all of his activities of daily living.
Nick lives with “Alice”, his wife of fifty-four years. Alice worries about Nick and knows she is unable to care for him alone. Their children all live out of the area and two daughters have been visiting for a week. They will leave in a few days when their brother will then arrive for a three week visit.
During the time their son is in town, the children will arrange for twenty-four hour care to help Alice care for Nick. Fortunately Nick and Alice have the funds to pay for the help. This is a very close and devoted family. Alice gets overwhelmed easily and the children have quickly stepped in to help.
When I went out to do my initial visit, Nick and Alice’s daughter, “Bonnie”, answered the door. She welcomed me into her parent’s home with a cute tease. Humor is a wonderful coping skill. I always enjoy families who use humor. It helps me relate to them so easily as my family is the same way.
Bonnie led me into the living room where her father was sitting on the couch. Another woman was sitting next to him and I assumed it was Alice as she appeared to be about Nick’s age. She said her name was “Katherine” and added that she was Nick’s mother and she was ninety-five years old. At first I thought she was joking. I could not imagine Nick’s mother looking so young.
Katherine was so full of life and spunk. She was vibrant and had so much energy. She was engaging and it was so obvious how much she loved life. Her handshake was firm and strong. She was amazing to me and someone whom I instantly admired. She loved and lived each day to the fullest. She is a teacher, a role model and an inspiration. I feel honored to have met her.
A ROLE MODEL
The moment I walked in,
I noticed how she lit up the room.
She smiled so brightly
with her endearing, infectious laugh.
A petite woman.
Not much over five feet.
But one instantly saw her big heart;
her big personality;
her engaging spirit.
She is so full of life.
She enjoys every minute.
She embraces every hour.
She loves every day.
She uses a walker nowadays,
but manages very well on her own.
She has had some rough times in her life,
but moves on with a chuckle and a positive spin.
Her solid, firm handshake reflects her spunk.
You can’t help but notice the twinkle in her eye.
She instantly became my role model
at her young age
of ninety-five.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
STOP THE WORLD
Seventy-eight year old “Keith” suffers from colon cancer. One month ago, Keith was up and walking around. Today he is bed bound and dependent with all of his activities. Keith says that he is becoming weaker as each day passes.
Keith lives with “Melanie”, his wife of fifty-four years. Two weeks ago when I first met them, Melanie was complaining about back pain. She is a very strong, independent woman and was “toughing” it out. She was diagnosed with breast cancer eight months ago and thought she was doing well. Her doctor ordered more tests to see if her previous treatment was successful.
During my visit yesterday, Melanie’s doctor called to tell her that the cancer has now spread to her spine. He said the chemotherapy had not worked, but he did have a new treatment in mind which would require injections into her spine in an attempt to stop the tumor’s growth.
While Melanie was talking with her doctor on the phone, one could see the concern on Keith’s face. The moment she hung up the phone, he quickly asked about what was said. Melanie remained stoic while telling Keith about the conversation with her doctor, which is her way of dealing with things concerning herself. However with all others, she is very open and loving with her concern and feelings.
Melanie shared that she wished she could stop the world for just a moment to gather her thoughts and formulate a plan. Melanie is very organized and practical and she will deal with this the same way. The couple have two children who are very involved and loving. They also have multiple friends who are a tremendous support.
I know Melanie will call in her support system and she and Keith will get through this with many loving people by their side. They will never be alone.
STOP THE WORLD
His decline has been swift.
They are seeing continual changes.
He is becoming weaker
with each day that passes.
He’s in bed now and can’t get up.
She worries so much about him.
She also has her own health issues,
so he worries as much about her.
She was just told her cancer has spread.
Her doctor has a treatment plan in mind.
She knows it is something she must do soon,
but who will take care of him?
She wishes she could stop the world
if only for a little while.
Just long enough to finish her treatment.
To give her the needed time.
She is overwhelmed right now
as the news is still fresh.
She wants to be able to stop the world
to tackle one thing at a time.
She’ll reach out to her family.
She’ll reach out to her friends.
Even though her world can’t stop,
either will those who rally around.
Keith lives with “Melanie”, his wife of fifty-four years. Two weeks ago when I first met them, Melanie was complaining about back pain. She is a very strong, independent woman and was “toughing” it out. She was diagnosed with breast cancer eight months ago and thought she was doing well. Her doctor ordered more tests to see if her previous treatment was successful.
During my visit yesterday, Melanie’s doctor called to tell her that the cancer has now spread to her spine. He said the chemotherapy had not worked, but he did have a new treatment in mind which would require injections into her spine in an attempt to stop the tumor’s growth.
While Melanie was talking with her doctor on the phone, one could see the concern on Keith’s face. The moment she hung up the phone, he quickly asked about what was said. Melanie remained stoic while telling Keith about the conversation with her doctor, which is her way of dealing with things concerning herself. However with all others, she is very open and loving with her concern and feelings.
Melanie shared that she wished she could stop the world for just a moment to gather her thoughts and formulate a plan. Melanie is very organized and practical and she will deal with this the same way. The couple have two children who are very involved and loving. They also have multiple friends who are a tremendous support.
I know Melanie will call in her support system and she and Keith will get through this with many loving people by their side. They will never be alone.
STOP THE WORLD
His decline has been swift.
They are seeing continual changes.
He is becoming weaker
with each day that passes.
He’s in bed now and can’t get up.
She worries so much about him.
She also has her own health issues,
so he worries as much about her.
She was just told her cancer has spread.
Her doctor has a treatment plan in mind.
She knows it is something she must do soon,
but who will take care of him?
She wishes she could stop the world
if only for a little while.
Just long enough to finish her treatment.
To give her the needed time.
She is overwhelmed right now
as the news is still fresh.
She wants to be able to stop the world
to tackle one thing at a time.
She’ll reach out to her family.
She’ll reach out to her friends.
Even though her world can’t stop,
either will those who rally around.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
NO WORRIES
Ninety-three year old “Karl” suffers from Parkinson’s Disease and dementia. Communication is difficult as he is mildly confused and has garbled speech. Karl has trouble hearing even with the use of hearing aids. Karl lives with his wife of fifty-nine years, “Sue”. Sue is nine years younger and does not act or look her age. She is in excellent health and has lots of energy.
The couple live in a very tiny, one-bedroom apartment. Every inch of space is taken up with their possessions. In a strange way, it is organized clutter. Filled plastic bins are piled high to the ceiling. Books, papers, and miscellaneous items are all around.
Karl and Sue have no children. There is very little family except for a brother, who suffers from dementia. Sue is very content the way her life is. She knows her husband is dying and soon she will be alone, but takes it all in stride without any worry. If you ask her how she is coping, she’ll reply with a lighthearted joke.
Safety is an important issue with hospice. Karl is wobbly on his feet and at risk for falling. He can no longer be safely left alone. Sue does leave him to run short errands even though hospice has informed her of the risks. Hospice has a volunteer program and I have offered to assign a volunteer to them. Sue then would be able to run errands while a volunteer could stay with Karl.
It is very difficult to maneuver around in their apartment so Sue is agreeable to moving some of the bins into storage, but declined hospice’s offer to assist her with the task. She states that she can do it herself. I do not think she has grasped the seriousness of leaving Karl alone, even for short periods. I am hoping that she will utilize the hospice volunteer as needed.
Sue has such an upbeat personality. Her positive attitude is likely what has gotten her through many of life’s struggles. She has a tendency not to worry about things, although is aware that her husband is declining and needing help. My one concern is that she will continue to leave him alone to run short errands. I will visit frequently to reinforce safety issues as well as to give them the continued support they need.
NO WORRIES
They live in cramped quarters.
Not much space to move around.
Four storage units are completely full.
They could easily fill a few more.
Rubbermaid bins are stacked ten feet high.
Each one full of who knows what.
Surprisingly she knows where everything is.
She doesn’t seem to mind.
He spends his days sitting on the sofa.
There is no place else to rest.
Behind him are countless piles of books,
stacked neatly side by side.
He’s declining and getting confused.
Garbled speech makes it difficult to talk.
He’s not the man he once was.
She jokes as she attends to his needs.
They have no family or close friends.
There only is just them.
Before too long, she’ll be alone.
She takes it all in stride.
She is content the way things are.
She has no worries at all.
The couple live in a very tiny, one-bedroom apartment. Every inch of space is taken up with their possessions. In a strange way, it is organized clutter. Filled plastic bins are piled high to the ceiling. Books, papers, and miscellaneous items are all around.
Karl and Sue have no children. There is very little family except for a brother, who suffers from dementia. Sue is very content the way her life is. She knows her husband is dying and soon she will be alone, but takes it all in stride without any worry. If you ask her how she is coping, she’ll reply with a lighthearted joke.
Safety is an important issue with hospice. Karl is wobbly on his feet and at risk for falling. He can no longer be safely left alone. Sue does leave him to run short errands even though hospice has informed her of the risks. Hospice has a volunteer program and I have offered to assign a volunteer to them. Sue then would be able to run errands while a volunteer could stay with Karl.
It is very difficult to maneuver around in their apartment so Sue is agreeable to moving some of the bins into storage, but declined hospice’s offer to assist her with the task. She states that she can do it herself. I do not think she has grasped the seriousness of leaving Karl alone, even for short periods. I am hoping that she will utilize the hospice volunteer as needed.
Sue has such an upbeat personality. Her positive attitude is likely what has gotten her through many of life’s struggles. She has a tendency not to worry about things, although is aware that her husband is declining and needing help. My one concern is that she will continue to leave him alone to run short errands. I will visit frequently to reinforce safety issues as well as to give them the continued support they need.
NO WORRIES
They live in cramped quarters.
Not much space to move around.
Four storage units are completely full.
They could easily fill a few more.
Rubbermaid bins are stacked ten feet high.
Each one full of who knows what.
Surprisingly she knows where everything is.
She doesn’t seem to mind.
He spends his days sitting on the sofa.
There is no place else to rest.
Behind him are countless piles of books,
stacked neatly side by side.
He’s declining and getting confused.
Garbled speech makes it difficult to talk.
He’s not the man he once was.
She jokes as she attends to his needs.
They have no family or close friends.
There only is just them.
Before too long, she’ll be alone.
She takes it all in stride.
She is content the way things are.
She has no worries at all.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
NO OTHER WAY
Eighty-four year old “Leo” suffers from lung cancer. He is blind in one eye from glaucoma and uses hearing aids to hear. His cancer has spread causing him great weakness. He is still able to ambulate slowly using a cane, but is very wobbly and needs supervision.
Leo lives with his wife, “Margo”. They have been married fifty-nine years. Margo also uses a cane to walk due to bad knees and a bad back. Leo needs assistance with most of his needs and feels guilty asking Margo for help as he knows it is hard for her.
Leo and Margo have three adult children who all live out of the area. One son died seven years ago from an accidental overdose. He had been in recovery from drug addiction when he had an accident and was put on pain medication. Leo and Margo look at their son’s death as God taking him at the time he was at his best. They feared he was possibly at the start of another relapse. The timing of his death relieved him of any further pain with his addiction.
Leo lost his right arm when he was nine years old after a fall and fracture. At the time, two doctors disagreed on the appropriate treatment and, unfortunately, a poor decision was made resulting in an infection which ultimately resulted in the loss of his right arm. He does not blame the doctors as feels it taught him to be more independent. He said his mother told him that he would have to learn to do things on his own. He is so thankful she gave him the courage to do so as that is what defines his life today.
He feels that one gains something with every loss. He has such a positive attitude no matter what comes his way. When asked how he copes with his illness, he quickly responds, “I am blessed”. “Why not me?” He is amazing and I feel honored to have met him. He laughs so easily, and with his wicked sense of humor, he is a lot of fun to be around.
NO OTHER WAY
He lost his right arm when he was nine.
Medical treatment gone bad.
He quickly learned how to manage alone.
There was no other way.
Life has not always been easy for him,
but he doesn’t see things that way.
Even when difficulties come around,
with each loss, he sees a gain.
He sees each day as a blessing
no matter what unfolds.
Not much can get him down,
not even the death of a son.
His health is declining swiftly.
He’s getting weaker with each passing day.
He hates asking for help,
but knows he can’t manage alone.
He will continue to smile.
He will continue to count his blessings.
He will always find the bright side,
“You always gain something with every loss.”
He knows of no other way.
Leo lives with his wife, “Margo”. They have been married fifty-nine years. Margo also uses a cane to walk due to bad knees and a bad back. Leo needs assistance with most of his needs and feels guilty asking Margo for help as he knows it is hard for her.
Leo and Margo have three adult children who all live out of the area. One son died seven years ago from an accidental overdose. He had been in recovery from drug addiction when he had an accident and was put on pain medication. Leo and Margo look at their son’s death as God taking him at the time he was at his best. They feared he was possibly at the start of another relapse. The timing of his death relieved him of any further pain with his addiction.
Leo lost his right arm when he was nine years old after a fall and fracture. At the time, two doctors disagreed on the appropriate treatment and, unfortunately, a poor decision was made resulting in an infection which ultimately resulted in the loss of his right arm. He does not blame the doctors as feels it taught him to be more independent. He said his mother told him that he would have to learn to do things on his own. He is so thankful she gave him the courage to do so as that is what defines his life today.
He feels that one gains something with every loss. He has such a positive attitude no matter what comes his way. When asked how he copes with his illness, he quickly responds, “I am blessed”. “Why not me?” He is amazing and I feel honored to have met him. He laughs so easily, and with his wicked sense of humor, he is a lot of fun to be around.
NO OTHER WAY
He lost his right arm when he was nine.
Medical treatment gone bad.
He quickly learned how to manage alone.
There was no other way.
Life has not always been easy for him,
but he doesn’t see things that way.
Even when difficulties come around,
with each loss, he sees a gain.
He sees each day as a blessing
no matter what unfolds.
Not much can get him down,
not even the death of a son.
His health is declining swiftly.
He’s getting weaker with each passing day.
He hates asking for help,
but knows he can’t manage alone.
He will continue to smile.
He will continue to count his blessings.
He will always find the bright side,
“You always gain something with every loss.”
He knows of no other way.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)