Forty-nine year old "Andy" suffers from rectal cancer that has spread to his liver. The entire two months he has been on hospice, Andy talks about his belief that God will cure him. Andy is from a very large, extended family who are very involved in his life. Andy is married to "Sarah". Sarah and Andy have a fourteen year old son, "Jeremy". Sarah has been very honest with Jeremy about what is happening to his father.
Andy has been slowly declining, although would never talk about his decline or terminal diagnosis. He believes that God will grant him a miracle and cure him because there are people all over the world praying for him through a prayer chain.
Andy has been becoming weaker until suddenly he could no longer walk and was extremely weak. The hospice nurse went out to make a visit and called me to come out as she did not think Andy would survive the day.
I walked into the home and Sarah was helping Andy in the bathroom. While waiting for them to come out, I was able to meet with Andy's mother and sister who were visiting. They were both shocked at his rapid decline. Andy's mother had lost her eldest son fourteen years ago from cardiac disease. Andy is her youngest son. Her strong Catholic faith and prayer are what sustains her and the family.
Twenty minutes later, I went to check on Andy and Sarah. The bathroom door was open and Andy was sitting on the floor. Sarah was attempting to lift him up into the wheelchair and could not. Andy's sister tried to help and neither could lift him. I then called the non-emergency fire department to help Andy back into bed.
After the firemen left, Andy went from expecting God to grant him a miracle to the sudden awareness that he was dying. He was at total peace about it all. His only worry was his son and I reassured him that his son and family were going to be okay because of the love, support and strong faith his family provided.
Andy said that I came at the perfect time. I told him that I felt guided to his home. He answered, "Yes you were, by God". I, too, felt that I was touched by God; a miracle He granted to me.
The following morning, I called the home to see how things were going. I spoke with Sarah and she said that Andy died at 4:30am that morning. She had not yet contacted hospice as she wanted family to be able to say goodbye to Andy. I informed her that the hospice nurse can come out to do the pronouncement and the mortuary can be called when she is ready.
FAITH
He has always had a compelling faith.
His belief in God is that strong.
He reads bible verses daily
reinforcing his conviction that he will be saved.
He knows God will grant him a miracle.
He knows his cancer will be cured
for all the people who are praying for him
locally and around the world.
Even though he is weakening,
his conviction remains strong.
He will not talk about his dying,
even though his body is starting to shut down.
During my visit today, he slid down to the floor.
His wife was unable to lift him up
so firemen were called to help him to bed.
It was then that he realized the real truth.
He now knows his time is short.
He is suddenly at peace about letting go.
He continues to trust his faith to guide him.
His belief in God remains that strong.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Saturday, September 18, 2010
COWS
Fifty-seven year old "Denise" suffers from throat cancer. She has difficulty breathing which is becoming more of a struggle for her as each week goes by. In addition, she has recently started to cough up blood. Each new change is a reminder to her that she is getting closer to death. Her doctor feels she may die within the month.
Denise has a very large collection of porcelain cows. She was excited to learn that I too love cows. Denise stores her cows in two large bins. She brought out the bins today and started to carefully unwrap each cow. She started telling me the stories about each one and where she was traveling when she purchased them.
She was sharing her legacy with me as each cow triggered a beautiful memory for her. It also brought up a lot of sadness as it was a remindeer of all that she will be losing.
Denise asked me to donate the cows to a worthy cause for her. It is important to her that the cows find a home with someone who loves them as much as she does. This is her legacy.
COWS
She has always loved cows.
They easily put a quick smile on her face.
She now has quite a large collection
as her purchases have been many
these past few years.
There's not enough room to display them all.
Most are safely stored in two large bins.
Individually encased in pink bubble wrap.
Each tenderly wrapped by her own two hands.
We went through the two bins today.
She told me the story about each cow.
Each one triggering a lovely memory.
Each one triggering a single tear.
Each cow is reminiscent
of special times and places.
But each is also a reminder
of how much she is going to lose.
She gave me the two bins today.
She asked me to donate them to a worthy cause.
She knows she won't be alive to see it,
but her legacy will continue
as I'll make sure her cows
find a good home.
Denise has a very large collection of porcelain cows. She was excited to learn that I too love cows. Denise stores her cows in two large bins. She brought out the bins today and started to carefully unwrap each cow. She started telling me the stories about each one and where she was traveling when she purchased them.
She was sharing her legacy with me as each cow triggered a beautiful memory for her. It also brought up a lot of sadness as it was a remindeer of all that she will be losing.
Denise asked me to donate the cows to a worthy cause for her. It is important to her that the cows find a home with someone who loves them as much as she does. This is her legacy.
COWS
She has always loved cows.
They easily put a quick smile on her face.
She now has quite a large collection
as her purchases have been many
these past few years.
There's not enough room to display them all.
Most are safely stored in two large bins.
Individually encased in pink bubble wrap.
Each tenderly wrapped by her own two hands.
We went through the two bins today.
She told me the story about each cow.
Each one triggering a lovely memory.
Each one triggering a single tear.
Each cow is reminiscent
of special times and places.
But each is also a reminder
of how much she is going to lose.
She gave me the two bins today.
She asked me to donate them to a worthy cause.
She knows she won't be alive to see it,
but her legacy will continue
as I'll make sure her cows
find a good home.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
MY PRAYER
Nineteen year old "Chris" had been in remission from leukemia for about one year when it suddenly returned with a vengeance one week ago. He was admitted to hospice at that time. When I went out to meet with the family, Chris was unresponsive and very close to death. This is a large, supportive family with a strong Christian faith that sustains them. Many of Chris's friends were present during my visit.
Chris's father, "Ben" said that he and his son had just started to share adult to adult moments. Ben feels that his life will be tortured because of such a tremendous loss. I encouraged him to ask himself what his son would say to him when those moments occured.
Right before I left the home, Ben sat down next to Chris who was lying in his hospital bed. Ben was gently rubbing his son's hand. I asked Ben if he had given Chris permission to go. Ben started to cry and said that he hadn't even thought of doing that. I shared that it was okay if he was unable to do so.
The next morning I called the home to see how things were going for them. Ben shared how Chris had died about thirty minutes after I left. I wasn't yet aware as somehow the hospice nurse's message didn't get on the main reporting line. Ben said that one of his biggest worries was that his son would die and he wouldn't be present. He feared that he would hear from someone else how it went.
Ben stated that right after I left he gave his son permission to go. Chris died thirty minutes later. Ben said that he will never forget me for the rest of his life because of that. He said that I allowed him to be present when his son died. I immediately was speechless and my eyes filled with tears. This poem is my attempt at trying to decipher my connection with an amazing God.
MY PRAYER
Thank you God for using me yesterday.
For guiding me to their home
at that particular time,
on that particular day.
Thank you for giving me the words
that flowed so easily; so clear,
making sure that he would hear You.
You helped him to let go.
He wanted to share this moment.
Not to hear from someone else.
You directly it so perfectly.
You allowed him to be there.
He thanked me and said
he would never forget me.
It makes one humble.
I am in awe,
knowing You chose me in this way
to be a part of something great.
So I thank you God for using me.
I also will never forget.
Chris's father, "Ben" said that he and his son had just started to share adult to adult moments. Ben feels that his life will be tortured because of such a tremendous loss. I encouraged him to ask himself what his son would say to him when those moments occured.
Right before I left the home, Ben sat down next to Chris who was lying in his hospital bed. Ben was gently rubbing his son's hand. I asked Ben if he had given Chris permission to go. Ben started to cry and said that he hadn't even thought of doing that. I shared that it was okay if he was unable to do so.
The next morning I called the home to see how things were going for them. Ben shared how Chris had died about thirty minutes after I left. I wasn't yet aware as somehow the hospice nurse's message didn't get on the main reporting line. Ben said that one of his biggest worries was that his son would die and he wouldn't be present. He feared that he would hear from someone else how it went.
Ben stated that right after I left he gave his son permission to go. Chris died thirty minutes later. Ben said that he will never forget me for the rest of his life because of that. He said that I allowed him to be present when his son died. I immediately was speechless and my eyes filled with tears. This poem is my attempt at trying to decipher my connection with an amazing God.
MY PRAYER
Thank you God for using me yesterday.
For guiding me to their home
at that particular time,
on that particular day.
Thank you for giving me the words
that flowed so easily; so clear,
making sure that he would hear You.
You helped him to let go.
He wanted to share this moment.
Not to hear from someone else.
You directly it so perfectly.
You allowed him to be there.
He thanked me and said
he would never forget me.
It makes one humble.
I am in awe,
knowing You chose me in this way
to be a part of something great.
So I thank you God for using me.
I also will never forget.
Friday, September 3, 2010
MESSAGES FROM ABOVE
Fifty-seven year old "Debra" suffered from end stage colon cancer. She had no family locally as they all lived in different states. She had lived alone for years and was very independent. Her doctor first suggested hospice to her six weeks before she agreed to come onto hospice. Debra had already started her dying process by the time hospice became involved.
It was, at that time, that her brother "Bill" and sister "Hillary" were notified. They immediately got on a plane and flew out to say their goodbyes. They were able to contact the patient's attorney to assist with finalizing her estate. Bill agreed to take his sisters two dogs, which was a great relief to Debra. Bill's son, "Anthony" was an attorney and agreed to be the patient's power of attorney.
Everything fell into place rather quickly as Bill and Hillary were focused and did what needed to be done. They were also able to spend quality time with Debra which was beneficial to all.
Hillary was a school teacher and had to get back home as the school year was starting. They left on a Tuesday morning knowing that Debra was close to death. Debra died later that day. Bill and Hillary both feel so grateful for the time they had with Debra. Hillary said that she has peace in her heart.
MESSAGES FROM ABOVE
When they heard that she was dying,
they flew out to say their goodbyes.
Months would pass without much talk,
but the family ties remained strong.
They could only stay one week
as their work demands were great.
Focused and determined,
they accomplished what they came to do.
They knew her time was close
when they said their final goodbyes.
They boarded their flight to return home,
grateful for that blessed time.
They noticed a personalized license plate
on their drive from the airport to home.
It simply said, "On to God".
It was then that they really knew.
They heard the telephone ringing
the moment they walked through their door.
They already knew what they would hear,
that she had just died that day.
They felt she left them a message from above
on the personalized plate of that car.
It gave them both peace and comfort
knowing she was on her way.
Their connection may now become stronger
than it was when she was alive.
They need only to reach out
and she will always be there.
Messages from above.
It was, at that time, that her brother "Bill" and sister "Hillary" were notified. They immediately got on a plane and flew out to say their goodbyes. They were able to contact the patient's attorney to assist with finalizing her estate. Bill agreed to take his sisters two dogs, which was a great relief to Debra. Bill's son, "Anthony" was an attorney and agreed to be the patient's power of attorney.
Everything fell into place rather quickly as Bill and Hillary were focused and did what needed to be done. They were also able to spend quality time with Debra which was beneficial to all.
Hillary was a school teacher and had to get back home as the school year was starting. They left on a Tuesday morning knowing that Debra was close to death. Debra died later that day. Bill and Hillary both feel so grateful for the time they had with Debra. Hillary said that she has peace in her heart.
MESSAGES FROM ABOVE
When they heard that she was dying,
they flew out to say their goodbyes.
Months would pass without much talk,
but the family ties remained strong.
They could only stay one week
as their work demands were great.
Focused and determined,
they accomplished what they came to do.
They knew her time was close
when they said their final goodbyes.
They boarded their flight to return home,
grateful for that blessed time.
They noticed a personalized license plate
on their drive from the airport to home.
It simply said, "On to God".
It was then that they really knew.
They heard the telephone ringing
the moment they walked through their door.
They already knew what they would hear,
that she had just died that day.
They felt she left them a message from above
on the personalized plate of that car.
It gave them both peace and comfort
knowing she was on her way.
Their connection may now become stronger
than it was when she was alive.
They need only to reach out
and she will always be there.
Messages from above.
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